Sorry for the short diary, but I just learned that John McCain has surged to an 11 point lead in Gallup's new Minutely Tracking Poll. I don't have time to get into the internals, but just say at 10:53 AM PST on August 4th John McCain is killing Obama amongst farmers, people with allergies and kids in--
Wait! Wait! All is good! the 10:54 AM PST polls is out and Obama is back up by 2, having made HUGE GAINS in people who are home and willing to pick up the phone to take a political survey. I'm not sure what caused the sea-change, but I'm thinking it may have been the diary YOU wrote at 10:53 AM!
Oh, God! No! No! Somehow Ralph Nader is now winning the 10:55 AM PST, having killed Obama in the "both fucking parties are exactly fucking the same" demographic. Of the 13 people surveyed in this poll, he got 6, though all of them lived in the same run down apartment in Berkeley California. I'm thinking we should just give up now and start all finding homes in--
Never mind. the 10:56 AM PST Minutely Tracking poll just came out and I'm just confused. There are, apparently NO VOTERS. Nobody answered the phone and Gallup is now predicting that the Presidential Election will be decided via a game of Connect Four, which is good news for Hillary Clinton, because as everybody knows, she's the only viable woman and "pretty sneaky, sis" always wins the day.
OK. OK. The 10:57 AM PST poll is now out and... Dwight D. Eisenhower is now leading by 6. What the fuck?!?! This is-- This just nuts! How in the-- OK. OK. Sorry. My fault. I was looking at the 10:57 PM PST poll for 1952 instead of 2008. In the 2008 poll the winner is Stuart the classroom hamster for Ms. Stupnicks 3rd grade classroom. That makes much more sense!
Development here. SUSA has decided to do a HALF-MINUTE POLL and in the latest, Barack Obama has a 2 point lead, BUT ONLY in states starting with A-L. In their half minute M-Z poll, McCain is up by 8.
Wait! Wait! Big UPDATE. Rassmussen is challenging SUSA and Gallup by putting out their own Secondly Tracking Poll, which shows that its Obama up by 4. Now, McCain up by 2. Now, Obama up by 11. Gore up by 6. Godzilla by 3. Could We Please Take a Deep Breath, up by 50, from now to the election.
Wait! Wait! Here comes the next one. A new 14TH-OF-A-SECOND POLL by the ARG (the pirate people)! Reading the internals now and the winner is...