John McCain has become so enamored of the surge in Iraq, which he has trademarked and owns exclusive rights to (and which did not lead to the Anbar Awakening), that it is now his answer to everything. Last week he proposed a surge in our cities to keep the population under control. He honestly believes that America needs armed government thugs on every corner. Now he proposes an "Economic Surge." John McCain says, "We'll fight those pesky market indicators with our own, better equipped market indicators. We will bring war to every aspect of life in the United States. We're going to have a Straight Surge to fight the Gays. We're going to have a Religious Surge to fight every person who believes in the wrong things. By God, we will definitely have a White Surge to combat the uppity Illinois Senator. And thanks to Viagra, I will have a surge in my pants too." (paraphrased)
Much more after the flip
Dumbed Down Wednesday
Today, like so many other days, I found a host of perfect examples of stupidity in our society. There's the story about Bob Schaeffer's son, Justin, whose Facebook page may as well have been created by a neo-Nazi. Then there's the continuing joke from ICE, who will now allow all illegal immigrants to turn themselves in for deportation. In an interview in Los Angeles yesterday Scarlet Johannson discussed the media stupidity surrounding the email Obama got from her. What do you know? Another beautiful woman with vastly more intelligence than the average broadcast journalist (looks like a trend). Finally, in the round up of stories involving ignorance today, there is the story of P Z Myers' schooling a couple of particularly ignorant religious extremists. It's just another Wednesday in the land of the lost.
Justin Schaeffer apologized for his incredibly offensive Facebook page, but the apology lacks merit. Maybe if the only offensive thing on his page was the "Slavery gets shit done" poster the young man could be considered simply misguided. The Photoshopped caricatures of Barack Obama only add to the flavor of incredible hatred. Make no mistake about it, Justin learned hatred of minorities and liberals in his father's home. Bob Schaeffer brought up his son to conduct cultural warfare against anybody different than them. The stupidest part of this story is that Justin apologized. Nobody believes it. Nobody is going to believe it. It's ridiculous, and he should have stuck to his guns. Rush Limbaugh would have. Now Justin looks even more pathetic than his Facebook page made him out to be.
Jackie Mahendra today discussed the new policy from Immigration and Customs Enforcement. I am astonished nobody turned themselves in on the first day of the program. Given the wonderful, happy atmosphere surrounding immigration detention centers and deportations, one can only shake their head in disbelief that illegal aliens turned down such a fantastic opportunity. In case anybody missed it, far too many immigrants have died in detention, considering that one unjust death is too many and we're talking about 66 deaths that we know of. The new ICE "strategy" takes governmental incompetence to an all new level. Perhaps the CIA and military intelligence should inform Osama Bin Laden that he is welcome to turn himself in. Or the FBI could invite members of the California branch of MS13 to turn themselves in and confess their crimes. Yeah, that would work.
The lovely and talented actress Scarlett Johannson yesterday talked about the ridiculous media frenzy surrounding the email Barack Obama received from her and responded to.
I was merely trying to express my delight at Obama's commitment to his campaign in every aspect and his interest and his support (in) his surrogates and his staff and his fellows, and how wonderful and refreshing that is. And it was manipulated into such an unfortunate media frenzy of kind of a non-story.
The frenzy over a married man responding to an email from Scarlett Johansson boggled the mind then, and still doesn't make any sense. Email correspondence does not equate to cheating on your spouse, even if the message came from such a beautiful and talented source. She was apparently embarrassed about the bluster. She must never have considered the slimy way most broadcast journalists think these days, because she doesn't think that way. Nevertheless, I must thank the sleazy members of the media for telling me about her kiss with Penelope Cruz. Now I know the next must see movie of the year.
The story of P Z Myers, Rod Dreher and other reactionary Catholic extremists brought a smile to my face early this morning. The issues surrounding the overblown reaction of the Catholic community weren't the funny part. Evidently one Catholic "investigator" discovered Myers had been posting to his blog at all hours of the day and night. They took it as proof that Myers slacked off at work and stayed up all night. Myers pointed out that professors work far more than forty hours per week, and insisted that the "investigator" should probably not take that tact when approaching the University of Minnesota, Morris (because they don't need reminders of how the faculty is underpaid). The punchline is that the Catholic "investigator" doesn't understand that computer software can be used to schedule actions well in advance (that's one intelligent individual). Yep, it's true, computers can be programmed to do what you tell them. It's shocking, I know. Maybe the Devil is responsible for the technology, but I hope not. I'd hate to think I am going to hell for telling my computer to download concerts all night while I am asleep.
Update to the story on McCain's racism, and the racism of many members of his campaign and party as a whole:
On the campaign trail, Senator John McCain’s staffers are being accused of racial profiling after ordering an African American reporter to leave the media area outside McCain’s bus. Stephen Price of the Tallahassee Democrat was removed during a McCain stop in Florida. A McCain spokesperson says Price was told to leave because the area was reserved for national reporters. But Price says several journalists from other local papers were allowed to remain.
Like I said in my blog about the racists, they don't want African Americans anywhere near McCain's speaking engagements (except for the handpicked token few). Source: Democracy Now
I am sure there will be many more stories of sheer stupidity in our government and society as the day goes on, but this concludes the roundup for now. The other stories of morons and incompetents will have to wait for the next small bus to Ignoramusville. The rest of us can only talk about their sadness for so long in one sitting.
The Brainwashed Party
John McCain rebuffed the brainwashed lunatics in his party on Tuesday, admitting that inflating your tires actually does increase gas mileage and save money. After all the work his campaign did to smear Obama's good idea, the Arizona Senator betrayed their principles of ignorance in one short town hall telephone call to Pennsylvania voters (McCain has telephone town halls? He is phoning in the campaign after all...). McFail restated the absolutely falseclaim that inflating tires wouldn't save more money than more offshore drilling, so hope that he will continue to spew nonsense is not lost.
Yesterday Paris Hilton took McCain to school on energy policy, and how to act presidential. I fully endorse her to replace him as the Republican Presidential Candidate. There is no doubt in my mind that she is more qualified. Her smiles usually look genuine, instead of the hideous lockjaw death grin John McCain plasters on his face at bizarre moments. Many foreign leaders would probably do anything she told them to do in exchange for a dinner date. Peace in the Middle East would finally become possible, after Israeli and Palestinian officials shared a couple of rounds of Dom Perignon with her in the White House. Karl Rove won't like the idea, presumably because fart-blossom considers girls icky, but a lot of Americans would be all for it.
Speaking of Paris Hilton and beautiful women, once hot Cindy McCrazy-pills yesterday entered the Miss Buffalo Chip Beauty Pageant. Apparently John McCain feels quite comfortable with the idea of his C-Word competing in a contest known for nudity and simulated acts of fellatio. It's understandable that after showing those ads with beautiful young ladies in them McCain would want to show off his own "trophy." The sad part about this isn't that he apparently urged Cindy to do it, it's that he thought she stood a chance to win. Even if she studied Paris and spent weeks trying to emulate her, C-Word could never hold a candle to the younger women out there. Of course Cindy could just buy the entire event and take the trophy home with her anyway, and then parade around with it while Oxy numbs her true feelings about John.
Bizarre stories from the McCain campaign abound, but the candidate is still trying to present some of his "ideas" on governing our nation. His health care philosophy really should be relabeled his sickness philosophy. John McCain proposes rationing veterans' health care, so that they could be treated only for health problems suffered during combat. The time he spent in Hanoi must have scrambled McFail's brains. The Senator evidently believes that veterans who support him could never be convinced to do otherwise. Perhaps he should attend a couple of meetings with veterans organizations, and then slap every attendee directly in the face. That would sting less than rationing their health care, and would be far less deadly.
None of these things come as much of a surprise. Any candidate willing to compare his opponent to the antichrist has no class, honor, integrity or intelligence. For weeks now I assumed those things about John McCain. With the latest attack ads he is so proud of, however, I no longer have to assume. John McCain is a sleazy sellout with no real plans (aside from continuing to rape our nation), no guts and no clue. If any reader out there knows somebody wavering in their choice for the presidency, please take the time to show them the truth. They generally can't get it from the television, so the role of readers and writers has become even more important this election than in the past. Our role is so much more important because, as our nation races down the Bush path to doom, there may not be many chances left to reverse course after this election.