Last year I posted this diary in which I listed the most Exremely Annoying commercials. Prominent on my list was freecreditreport.com. And I won't plug them by linking them, because their ads are all over. You can't get away from them, whether you're watching TV, listening to the radio, or online. And there's even a new one.
Below the fold is a tribute to the persistence of this company with its misleading name in annoying us. Which will be followed by pooties.
The stately fellow above looks a lot like Calvin, a pootie I had during the 90's. Believe it or not, I'd found him in an animal shelter. He was lovable and had quite a personality--but in 2001 he got to be ornery about getting outside--and several days after 9/11, he ran out and never came back.
But back to what I'm calling freecreditreport.com lament. Imagine a guy singing (and badly, at that) the most Extremely Annoying musical genre (or so-called musical genre) you can think of, about the ultimate poor doofus who shoulda used freecreditreport.com:
Can't find no job, no luck, tough row to hoe,
My credit score's the lowest it can go,
Can't buy a new house, new car, new pick-up truck,
'Cause there's simply no way this guy can make a buck.
But there's a nice, kind lady right next-door to me,
And late one night there's a chance I think I see,
To steal her smelly trash and find me some I.D.
Then I try to buy a house, a car, a pick-up truck
Only to find I'm s*** outta luck......
For all my applications get a great big NO.
'Cause her credit score's also the lowest it can go.
For this lovely lady from whom I've filched identity..
Turns out to be in the same sort of fix as me!
Shoulda gone to freecreditreport.com.....
Unless I'd stolen garbage from the wealthy side of town
And now I'm sitting in a cell waiting on a friend with bail
So I don't end up stuck allnight in this f***ing jail.
(Disclaimer about having to enroll in their program--which means you have to pay.)
Oh, ****, it's not really free!
That's enough of that--bring on the pooties!
Hope these pooties have made your day! Feel free to add your own (or any good ones from Photobucket--that's where I get mine!) or woozles or any other cute animals.