9. Either Putin or Medvedev will have to run as McCain's Vice President
7. Start rumors that it was the two of you who behind the Manhunt donation to the McCain Campaign
6. Will get the Associated Press, like they did with Joe Lieberman, call the two of you "pricks"
5. Send in Michael Phelps to blind Russian soldiers with the reflections off his 8 Gold Medals
4. Meghan McCain will start writing children's books of the two of you, how her Daddy will kick your asses, if elected
3. Bus in Hillary Clinton's supporters, and have them dish out a "cathartic" cease-fire and withdrawal beating
2. Consequences will be to place Putin and Medvedev in the dreaded "McCain Cone of Silence"
1. Won't bother holding back Joe Biden, from tatooing "NATO" on your foreheads