Ok, I get it. I understand that at the end of this election, all the participants that didn't win get to go back to their respective corners and have to "get along" again. They have to sit in committee meetings together, participate in state functions with drinks in their hands in talk circles with opponents across the aisle. I understand that the public needs to be under the illusion that the bitter partisanship that we know is bubbling under the surface all goes away when the workday ends and these guys go on picnics together and hang out with each others families.
But, let's not change a word we all hold very dear and very special. Let's keep that one piece of our language on a higher plane.
"John McCain is a friend of mine." In the past few days I've heard Democratic leaders who I hold in respect spitting out that word "friend" as if it means nothing, then go on to list all the "buts" as to why that "friend" should not be elected.
I'm sorry, but of the thousands of people I know in my life, there's but a small handful I consider true friends and if their politics and ethics so diverged from mine on some of the key issues we're talking about, their status would drop out of that special category.
My true friends:
1. Do not believe in sending bombs and missiles into countries as a means of first diplomacy. The don't call Asian people "Gooks" and don't impugn the patriotism of others for doing their civic duty and questioning the use of our military for preemptive strikes against other countries.
2. If they're male, they don't treat their women as objects and abuse them with language or violence. If they're female they are strong and independent and do not allow themselves to be abused.
3. They don't latch themselves onto fundamentalist Christian preachers, ignoring the vile stuff that comes out of their mouths just for political or social advantage.
4. The don't lie to me or distort the truth. I can have honest disagreements with my friends on valid points of argument but if one of them began spitting out Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity talking points their status as a true friend would drop quickly.
5. They are by all means not racist and treat people as individuals. I have no problem at all with cultural bigotry if it is directed fairly at all. If one despises the hip-hop culture or the Latino machismo, one should also be just as uncomfortable with the racism and bigotry of white neanderthals in the Deep South. Ultimately though a person must still look even within those cultural divisions for individual traits.
6. They value their integrity over their ambition. Nuff said about that.
I could go on but I'd rather hear other people's definitions here.
Under these criteria John McCain would never be my friend. A coworker I could work with? Sure. A person who I could have a drink with after the day's session and enjoy his warped sense of humor? Probably, although it sounds as if his jokes cross lines from time to time. Alcohol helps when that happens.
I am hoping that the speakers in the past few days that called John McCain their friend did so only because it's what's done in Washington to keep the peace and the definition I hold for "friend" has become different for these folks out of political necessity.
I long for the day when we no longer have to play this game with our speech, when our politicians can just as easily come out and say "I used to be friends with John McCain. He in recent years has squandered that friendship by his political and ethical choices and has fallen back to the slot of colleague. I regret that has occurred."