Even HE wasn't the "ORIGINAL MAVERICK."
To steal a page from Will & Grace: Sarah Louise Heath Palin that hurt!
About last night. This was "Miss Congeniality" in the 1984 Miss Alaska Pageant? Hate to see who was voted "Miss Watch Your Back." However it is comforting to know that under the 1947 Presidential Succession Act, should Mrs. Palin, for any reason be unable to fulfill her duties as Vice President of the United States, her responsibilities would be assumed seamlessly by Miss Ketchican.
Regarding the vetting, one does suspect the now-Governor-of-Alaska might have been awarded that other sash from the hotel room facility, "SANITIZED FOR YOUR PROTECTION." And yet, deep down, it’s good to remember that somewhere in the Miss Alaska competition, she would have had to have issued some kind of statement underscoring the importance of -- and her commitment to -- "WORLD PEACE." It's practically the law.
All seriousness aside, as candidates, the pair have many admirable qualities – and when you add John McCain to the ticket, it’s even stronger. BADDUMBUMP! Misogynate THAT, Mrs. P! (Hey what? We’re not allowed gratuitous cheap shots too -- albeit by objectifying half of the human race? Actually I once judged a state pageant -- honest -- and gained considerable respect for the competitors – contrary to my preconceptions at the time. Their real job wasn’t wearing swimsuits or answering dumb questions; it was acting as the best spokesperson and poised representative for whatever geographical entity sent them to the stage - no matter how arcane. Kind of comes in handy, doesn’t it?)
And so as not to trivialize the event, I also posed a rather unusual final question to further winnow down the finalists:
"Two cars leave the same city on a cross-country race travelling in opposite directions. One vehicle goes through populated areas and school zones at an average speed of 129 mph. The other reaches an average speed of only 113 mph, but, to be fair, it’s headed directly into the sun while the driver is finishing a Jack in the Box sirloin burger, fries and a shake, but devoting most of his attention to Megadeath’s United Abominations album cranked up to max on his sound system.
We know that in exactly 5 hours the two vehicles will be 1,210 miles apart. The question is, how does this relate to world hunger?"
Didn't see any rule excluding epistemological algebra.
However to actually trivialize the preliminary vetting, I did just bring a stack of Trivial Pursuit cards. I mean, why should we have to make up our own questions? (Surprisingly Entertainment and Sports&Leisure were not the most popular categories, so there is still hope for America.)
In the "qualifications" competition, we also mustn’t forget that Palin was not only a small town MAYOR (who won with something like only 600 votes). She’s a big-town GOVERNOR. (By population, it’s like being Governor of Memphis, Tennessee – except in Memphis, the residents aren’t so spread out they can’t compare notes.)
Other than that, they seem to have wonked her up nicely, and after listening to the characterizations by Thompson, Romney, Huckabee, Giuliani, and now Palin, I do appreciate finally being able to grasp the concept of misdirection. It’s like nominating Penn and Teller. (David Copperfield for Sec. of Commerce.) Not that we liberals haven’t been guilty of misleading and unfair-characterizational applause lines; it’s just that we don’t always seem to be able to muster the same organized staccato fashion.
How’s this for a start:
"Are we ready to put a man in the White House who was sentenced to five-and-a-half years in PRISON? So potentially dangerous to his fellow inmates that several of those years had to be in solitary confinement? A man so disliked that he was thrown out of an entire country despite years of military service? At this critical hour in our nation’s history, do we want to elect a guy who already LOST a war? A man representing a constituency so barren and bereft of aesthetics that their state flower is a ROCK? As for Giuliani-Romney-Huckabee-Thompson-Lieberman? What? Couldn’t she get anybody to endorse her but this bunch of LOSERS? Who can’t even deliver the right opening gag line, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, I accept your nomination!’"
It really does take some prestidigitation and legerdemain to run against the political party (like the last 8 years) that just nominated you – without actually trying. At least that Monty Python Palin did deliver on "something completely different." Not saying they’re not different. Just not COMPLETELY.
Parting shots: McCain’s Wednesday night speech. Sure it was concise – but was it really that inspiring?" BTW, just for the record John McCain is NOT the "Original Maverick." The original maverick was a guy named "MAVERICK!"
Look it up. Drive safely and tip the waiters.