I don't write many diaries on here, but when I do it usually spirals into a nonsensical rant, and while I would REALLY like to say that this time will be different, if I did I would be Pullin' a Palin (IE Laying out of my ass).
More on the flip
The Republican party owns the Constitution, did you know that?
They also own the Bill of Rights.
They own our freedom, lord knows those scary leftist hippies would have us all locked away if not for them.
The Republicans own Baseball! Our national past-time can only be entrusted to those who GET America.
You wanna piece of the flag? Tough shit, the Republicans own that too. Otherwise all those long-haired freaky people (who need not apply) would just be running around in the street burning it.
Apple Pie? It's Republican all the way baby! So is Cherry while we're at it (since it's red and all)
Religion? Oh we ALL know they've got the market cornered on that one. JC just loves it when we turn innocent (and even not so innocent) people into tiny little pieces. Besides, haven't you heard that gays are going to Hell? The Republicans hate gays and their standard bearer is all for "bomb bomb Iran" (which I'm sure if you look hard enough is a DIRECT QUOTE from Revelations, John McCain told me so just the other day) so you do the math... GOD LOVES REPUBLICANS.
Guns? You must be crazy! A Democrat would be too limp-wristed to shoot properly, and besides, have you ever tried to shoot a rifle while holding a late? Better cede that one to the Republicans as well.
Books? Hell, why stop there? Lets give them the entire education system. I mean really, without having a Republican telling me what I should or shouldn't let my child read, or what they should or shouldn't learn in school, how can I possibly be expected to raise my child to be a good little worker bee who doesn't ask any questions?
9/11? Democrats don't know how to make good use of it. Yea sure you COULD treat it as a solemn and sad day in American history, or you could use it to try and boost some pole numbers. Lets be realistic, those people aren't coming back any time soon, so we may as well make the best of a bad situation. It's just like my dear ol ma used to say (or was it my dark-skinned mammy?) if life gives you some lemons you make lemonade. Democrats would just let those dead folks go to waste.
Womens rights? You don't get to choose, because Republicans own that too. Besides, we've got a rootin-tootin pistol toting all American Gal on our side. Does she give a shit about anything other than being on the winning side? Who cares?!?! Have you seen her ass??
Last, but certainly not least, CHANGE. Democrats thought they owned it, but man were they fooled! We let them have it long enough to convince those dumb white folks.. oops, I mean the Republican base, that they WANT change, now we're going to step up and take over from there. Why do all the heavy lifting when we can let the black guy do it for us? I like it, it sortof hearkens back to the good ol days when black folks did ALL the heavy lifting.
God bless the Republican party! If he doesn't, we won't let him out of his box anymore!