Seeing as we're talking about putting lipstick on dogs and swine, and other folksy perversions, I thought it might be worth recalling two of the great American political Zoomorphism before talk shows degenerate to debating sheep shagging. Recall, if you will The Mugwump (~1884) and the Post Turtle (~1999).
I'm sure you'll be able to identify the Mugwump/Post Turtle slate with ease.
No, Mugwump isn't historically accurate, as Mark Twain makes plain:
"I was a mugwump. We, the mugwumps, a little company made up of the unenslaved of both parties, the very best men to be found in the two great parties--that was our idea of it--voted sixty thousand strong for Mr. Cleveland in New York and elected him. Our principles were high, and very definite. We were not a party; we had no candidates; we had no axes to grind. Our vote laid upon the man we cast it for no obligation of any kind. By our rule we could not ask for office; we could not accept office. When voting, it was our duty to vote for the best man, regardless of his party name. We had no other creed. Vote for the best man--that was creed enough."
- Mark Twain's Autobiography (North American Review, Dec. 21, 1906)
Source: Mark Twain Quotes: Mugwump
ImageSource: Mugwumps.com
The Post Turtle also Fence Turtle
While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 70-year-old Texas rancher (whose hand had caught in a gate while working cattle), a doctor and the old man were talking about George W. Bush being in the White House.
The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle'." Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.
The old man said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle." The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued.
"You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor stupid bastard get down."
Source: Rhino's Blog, RHINO'S WEEKEND BLOG - "Defoliate the Bushes!", Saturday, March 13, 2004
Origin: Unknown
Image Source: Post Turtle by Eric Tank at Flickr