For amusement only...I call Snark!
The old joke about waking up with a woman (or man) so ugly that you'd rather chew off your arm rather than wake them up can be applied to America's - or McCains- blind date with Sarah Palin - Yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but in the cold light of day, it may have been - well - a little hasty.
Much like Internet dating, the initial contact is filled with promise.
MWF ISO Older Gentleman for 'running mate'. My interests are moose hunting, selling stuff on E-bay, firing people, and asking politicians for money. I'm 38-24-36, beautiful, Christian (but don't let that scare you), in shape, rested, and ready. Marital status unimportant - First Dude likes to watch!
However, the veil of anonymity soon falls away. Sure, the first contacts are enticing -
"Really? You sold a jet on E-bay? How cool is that! A Bridge to where? NO! Really? Where have you been all my life? Whatcha doin' on September 3?"
Oh, that first date. The anticipation, the preparation. Flowers, check. Candy, check. Get the car detailed, check. Breath mints, condoms, a clean hanky, clean undies, balloons, check. Pick her up, open the door for her, tip the maître d' for the good seats, and then, she starts talking. Everything's going so well - wait - how many kids? Special needs? Pregnant daughter!?! Oh, well, we can work with that. Besides, look at that ass. Hey, call up Bob Dole and get some of that Vigaro he's peddling. I think the Maverick's gonna do a little branding tonight. Now THAT'S change I can believe in! Wait, did she just say she said "No, Thanks" to $237,000,000? Oh, she kept the money, but lost the bridge? Excellent! SO Mavericky!
So, after the initial meeting and 15 minutes of conversation, it's time to jump in bed together. You can ignore the lies - "My other car is a luxury jet." - "I don't care about money." - "I have been open and transparent with you." After all, politicians lie, right? Besides, she's such a cute little pit bull! Look at that lipstick!
Then, the morning after. "Um, my friend, don't talk to my friends. They might want to...know you. I want to keep you all to myself." But then, your friends - your base - start asking questions. "Who is this babe you're hiding? So, you made a commitment after 15 minutes on the telephone? Dude, have you ever seen 'Love Stinks'? You don't know anything about her. She's lying to you, man. That plane? Didn't sell on Ebay. She sold it to one of her 'contributors'. She lost $600,000 on it. And that Bridge? She said 'No, thanks' all right - AFTER she got the money, and AFTER Congress said no bridge. And, hey, if you cross her, it looks like it can get pretty nasty - she fired, like, everybody. Dude, she's just like your LAST girlfriend - you know, that one you spent like the last eight miserable years with. Worse! That one was stupid and evil, this one is SMART and evil! ...I'M sexist? Look, I'm not talking about her pregnant 17 year old daughter, who's going to marry that red+necked yo-yo, or her 'premature' first kid, or the 'shadow governor' who wants to secede and who hates America, or the questions about her last pregnancy, or the per-diems, or the Mat-maids- I'm talking about the ISSUES! You'll be broke, you'll need health care, because she'll certainly try to kill you, she'll cost you your job, she'll burn the house around you, she'll POISON THE VERY AIR YOU BREATHE!
Wait a minute! I can make a lot of money on this scam! I'm IN!"
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