It's September 11, Rudy Giuliani's birthday. He's 7 today.
I know what you're thinking; you're sure this can't be true. He ran for President, and he'd have to be 35 to do that. Also, all the "authoritative" sources say he was born on May 28, 1944.
But think for a minute - it is true.
I mean, was there really a Rudy Giuliani at all before September 11, 2001? Oh sure, there was some guy who was Mayor of New York who had that name, but he was certainly not an important national figure.
* He was just your typical incompetent Republican politician who, after the 1993 World Trade Center attack, never got around to getting the City's emergency responders the same radios so they could communicate with each other, and decided to put a new emergency control center in the same place, so he could walk to it and shag his girlfriend.
* He was just your typical hypocritical Republican politician who crowed about family values, and then told his wife he was divorcing her at a press conference, and then moved his girlfriend into the Mayor's mansion while he was still married.
* He was just your typical tinpot dictator Republican politician who turned the police force loose to sodomize and murder "those people" who came to the US for a better life and happened to have darker skin than he.
That can't be the guy we know as Rudy Giuliani now. He's strong; he's tough; he saved us all from disaster by walking around in a hard hat while lisping into a bullhorn.
No, that Rudy Giuliani was born on September 11, 2001. The world is a better, safer place, and we no longer have to worry about scary religious extremist dark-skinned terrorists with hard to pronounce names from hard to pronounce places hurting us (while we simply ignore the light-skinned religious extremists who have familiar sounding European names who were born here). He's here; he's fear; get used to it. And, he could have been President.
Happy Birthday Rudy Giuliani.