There have been a number of gems slipping from the well-rehearsed mouth of Sarah Palin in her first major interview with ABC, but my favorite so far has been her walk-back on her global warming position. From the AP:
In the ABC interview, Palin said she believes that "man's activities certainly can be contributing to the issue of global warming, climate change. ... Regardless, though, of the reason for climate change, whether it's entirely, wholly caused by man's activities or is part of the cyclical nature of our planet — the warming and the cooling trends — regardless of that, John McCain and I agree that we gotta do something about it."
Ummm ... you can't have it both ways, Sarah.
If global warming is not man-made what, pray tell, do you and John McCain "gotta do" to fix it? I see three options:
- Form a world-wide Pentecostal prayer circle and beseech Our Lord and Savior to alter His climate plans for the Earth. If the Lord requests some appeasement, this prayer could be supplemented by a ceremonial mass circumcision* of the Unclean males of Europe and the sacrifice of 70 times 7 Virgins. Sorry, Sarah (a very Biblical name, by the way), but that would appear to disqualify your lovely daughter Bristol from the proceedings.
* perhaps you could perform the first with the same trusty hunting knife that you used to gut the moose
- Hire Superman to spin the Earth backwards on its axis (like a disreputable car dealer rolling back the odometer on a lemon) to a more god-fearing time when life was pure, the rape of the environment was part of our manifest destiny, and homosexuals cowered in closets and monasteries rather than marching in the streets. I'm thinking the Fifties, maybe.
- Bomb the Iranians. Or Russians. Anything to divert attention from the melting polar ice caps.
Either way, the environment would appear to be in safe, sane, and capable hands in a McCain-Palin administration.