Not that I want to be a late entry into whatever the fuck Porcine-In-Drag Gate was really all about, but I feel the need to remind Republicans that the reason we're all being treated to the Thrilla From Wassila actually has its roots in another pig-based colloquialism.
See, instead of worrying about who or what is being compared to farm animals and how said livestock is or is not being plastered on with rouge and eyeliner and six inches of flesh-toned cover-all, our hopelessly repressed counterparts might want to open up that bag they've been holding since March to make sure what's wriggling inside IS, in fact, a pig... and not, say... a very large, rat.
I'm talking about, of course, the idiom that refers to a confidence trick originating in the Late Middle Ages, when meat was scarce but apparently rats and cats were not.
It was called, "Buying a Pig in a Poke" and in this modern retelling... John McCain is the swine salesman... and, "Conservatism", in the form of the Great White Moosehunter, is what he's claiming is for dinner.
I thought of it again this morning when I saw the Washington Post headline:
McCain Embraces Regulation After Many Years of Opposition
A decade ago, Sen. John McCain embraced legislation to broadly deregulate the banking and insurance industries, helping to sweep aside a thicket of rules established over decades in favor of a less restricted financial marketplace that proponents said would result in greater economic growth.
Now, as the Bush administration scrambles to prevent the collapse of the AIG, the nation's largest insurance company, and stabilize a tumultuous Wall Street, the Republican presidential nominee is scrambling to recast himself as a champion of regulation to end "reckless conduct, corruption and unbridled greed" on Wall Street.
Now, seeing as we all know that Repulicrats love them some Mega Super-Duper Deregulators I wonder if the above backflip gave them considerable pause.
Especially because BEFORE he joined the Take-Those-Brown-People-And-Dump-Them-In-The-Largest-Body-Of-Very-Deep-Salt-Water-We-Can-Find wing of the Republidude party, he was the author of an immigration build co-sponsored by TED-THE-DEVIL-KENNEDY that THEY considered (gasp) amnesty.
And BEFORE he decided to get on board with the 24-On-The-TV-Is-A-Credible-Way-To-Get-The Terrorists-To-Disclose-Their-Evil-Plan-Before-The-Commercial-Break crowd, Senator John Sidney was... well... what they would surely call a an "enabler" of terrorism.
And before his Get-Those-Taxes-Lower-Than-Larry-Craig's-Hand-Playing-Bathroom-Stall-Limbo epiphany, he voted against the Bush tax cuts a couple of different times.
I could go on and on, people with Electoral Elephantitis, but I really think you should remember that the reason THE GUY WHOSE NAME SITS ATOP THE TICKET is begging you to take the bag and rush home to your kitchen without checking the merchandise is that HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT'S INSIDE IT.
And it ain't "maverick" Sarah Palin.
And it ain't "Christian values" Sarah Palin.
And it ain't "folky, rural, can-count-her-houses-on-one hand" Sarah Palin.
No, the thing wriggling in a bag is, of course, the tasteless, can't-raise-a-dime, can't fill a pre-school basement, politician, rat you people have DESPISED for twenty years.
The guy IN the bag is the guy HOLDING the bag and his name is John McCain.