Yes folks, step right up, step right up. I have right here an amazing investment opportunity that you just can't pass by. Equity -- yes, that's right, genu-ine, 100% real equity -- in this here steaming pile.
Learn more after the jump!
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: Sam, this here's a stinking pile. Why would I want to invest in something that's frankly a bit odoriferous. Well, folks, that's where you'd be mistaken.
From a layman's point of view, it may seem like this here steaming pile is all the same, but dig a bit deeper and you'll find a miasma of premium grade equity opportunities.
First you've got your foreign steaming piles, and we all know how classy those Europeans are! Why in no time, you'll be snooting port and turning your nose up with the best of them!
Then there's the delectable mounds from prestigious firms right here in the U-S-of-A. Firms so successful, their steaming piles barely stink at all.
And that's just to name a few!
But don't take our word for it. Here's what your friends and neighbors are saying:
"My broker says it takes just one Friedman unit for this stuff to turn to PURE GOLD!" -- H. Paulson.
"This mess even improved my health care. Why, I shovel it every day, and I've lost 20 pounds!" -- S. Palin
It's the opportunity of a lifetime folks, but you have to act fast! This amazing once twice thrice in a lifetime offer won't last long.
Act now and you'll receive as a special gift, this spectacular 700 carat bullion necklace. Talk about BLING! You and your family will cherish it for generations and generations to come. Yours free.
Call now! You're sure to be utterly and completely depressed if you don't!