The Sarah Palin "doctrine of proximity" has finally clarified why my uncle Mort should have been the next president.
Ms. Palin's foreign policy experience, as you know, was gleaned through residing in close proximity to Russia. I'm not sure how the sophisticated algorithm works, but then, who understands the fine points of political science? It's probably something like the "cootie" theory, it rubs off.
Anyway, I've always thought Uncle Mort should be president, and now it's certain. He lives but a long block from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and at such close range, you can imagine the depth of expertise. The transferral probably occurs in a manner similar to wi-fi.
If it isn't Uncle Mort [I don't really have an Uncle Mort, but I do live in close proximity to a guy named Mort] then it should be the man who has more presidential experience than anyone, seriously.
This grizzled guy with the winsome growl, and alas I don't know his name, set up his bully pulpit in the pedestrian mall directly in front of the White House some 30 years ago -- this cannot be over emphasized -- and in all that time, he hasn't budged. You may have seen him with his pup tent, bull horn, peace slogans and plastic cup.
This is the man who has looked in the windows of four presidents -- 24/7. He may have overheard conversations. And he knows where the dumpsters are.