From the home office in Sedona, Arizona: The Top 10 October Surprises in this year's campaign:
- Senate elects McCain Miss Congeniality.
- McCain personally captures Osama at the gates of hell.
- McCain dumps Sarah, nominates Dave.
- McCain adopts Jonas Brothers.
- Sarah Palin announces she's pregnant, calls it her "Colbert Bump."
- McCain changes middle name from Sidney to Mustafa.
- Brad Hanson sells wallet-size nudie of Sarah to National Enquirer.
- Charlie Crist spotted standing in line at County Clerk's office in San Francisco with Lindsey Graham.
- Harlem Globetrotters endorse McCain.
And the #1 October Surprise:
- Palin Wins Debate!