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While CBS is withholding some of the tapes showing the embarrassment and how Sarah Palin is barely qualified to match wits with Miss Teen South Carolina, a head to head contest on jeopardy was held between Governor Sarah Palin and Forrest Gump.  The game was shortened to 10 minutes and only 1 round of Jeopardy was played.

The categories were:

John McCain
The Rapture

Geography for 100

Answer - the largest island in the Pacific Ocean?
Sarah Palin - What is, um I can see Russia from my House?
Incorrect.  Forrest Gump 0 Palin -100

The Rapture for 100

Answer - In Fundamentalist christian ideology, the 1 true son of god.
Palin - Who is Jesus?
Host:  Correct - Gump 0 Palin 0

Geography for 200

Answer - The country with the most people
Palin - What is California?
Gump - Well I once played ping pong in China so it is China?
Correct - Gump 200   Palin -200

Food for 100

Answer - Godiva, Hershey, Nestle
Gump - What is a box of chocolates?
Correct - Gump 300    Palin -200

Literature for 100

Answer - Harry Potter, The Crucible, To Kill a Mockingbird.
Palin - What are 3 books I had banned from the Wasilla Library?
Host:  ah, okay we'll accept that.  Gump 300    Palin -100.

Literature for 200

Answer - It's What Vice President's Often Do
Palin - Sorry, I have no idea.  That was a very mean question.
Gump - Um Why they have to do something for the President.
Host:  Okay, the judges will allow it.  Gump 500  Palin -300

Food for 200

Answer - It's a hamburger you can get from a moose.
Palin - What is a mooseburger?  Yeah I'm a Maverick, I knew that one.
Host:  Correct  Gump 500   Palin -100

The Rapture for 200

Answer - It's what happened to people deemed witches in Salem, Massachusetts over 300 years ago.
Palin - Burn those satanist, jesus hating, evil witches, burn those witches.
Host:  Ms. Palin you need to put that in the form of the question.
Palin - What's the question? I say we burn the witches.
Host - Okay she did say what's the question so we'll give her credit.
Gump 500 and Palin on the positive side with 100.

The Rapture for 300

Answer - In the bible, it's commonly said that the meek will inherit what?
Palin - What is the transcontinental pipeline?
Host:  Incorrect.
Gump:  I think they inherit those shrimp on the earth.
Host:  Okay Forrest we'll accept that, they inherit the earth.
Score - Gump 800   Palin -200

John McCain for 100

Answer:  The country where John McCain was a POW
Palin:  Can I look at my index cards?  Rick Davis told me this one.
Host:  Forrest, you hit your button first.
Gump:  Well I'm going to say what Lieutenant Damm said that we must be going to Vi et nam.
Score:  Gump 900   Palin -200

John McCain for 200

Answer:  The number of positive, pro middle class pieces of legislation John MCCain has sponsored in 26 years in Washington.
Palin:  I don't know of any.  I'll have to get back to you.  What is this is a nothing question.
Host:  Uh, she did say nothing and that was the form of a question so we'll give her credit.  Score:  Gump 900 and Palin 0.

Host:  Sarah you are out of negative territory?
Palin:  That's a part of Canada you know.  It borders on Alaska.  It's part of foreign policy experience.

Geography for 300

Answer:  Name the country where 15 of the 19 hijackers came from that carried out 9/11.
Palin:  Let's not play stump the contestant Alex.
Host:  Do you have an answer in the form of a question Sarah?
Palin:  It's on the map Alex.  It's somewhere on the map.  I think I see Putin's head.  It was the bad guys Alex.  They did it. We must, I don't know, my son Track is off to Iraq and I'm very proud of him, very courageous of him, very independent of him.
Gump:  Why do I have to listen to this morrrrrrrrrrrONNNNNN Any LONNNNNNNGERRRRR?

Host:  Well Forrest we have to deduct 300 from you because that was in the form of a question so for that so you have 600 and Sarah is back in the negative and is down 300.  Well end this game.  Ms. Palin we have some nice consolation prices for you back stage.  Thank you for playing Jeopardy.

Originally posted to davefromqueens on Tue Sep 30, 2008 at 08:46 AM PDT.

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