Do nothing. It never existed. One of Dubya’s boys made it up from whole cloth. Kinda like all them WMDs Saddam never had. Or like them connections Saddam and Al Quaeda never had. Or Dubya being from Texas. That kind of shit. Never existed, no basis in Reality. Made from whole cloth. Horse pucky. Chicken of the rubber variety.
Note to reader, whosoever you may be: Do not confuse IslamoFascism with Terrorism. By all means be afraid of Terrorism. That’s why it’s called Terrorism. Yes. Be, um, very afraid. Anyways...
911 scare you into doing whatever we say? What if the Muslims TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! They’re COMING FRIENDS, and they’ve BROUGHT THEIR BOX-CUTTERS!!! Hope you SPEAK ARABIC!!! Trade in your G-strings for a totally amorphous BURKAH!! Look forward to the rest of your life, dressed up like a SACK OF POTATOES!! And what-not.
Do you need to wear underwear under a burkah? I went to a bar in a kilt once and I'll tell you, I had a blast that night. What a hoot. Easiest trip to the biffy you ever saw. Step up to the urinal, lift your kilt and you're off to the races. Had a woman put her hand up my kilt that night, the little devil, and I giggled like a schoolgirl. Can you blame me?
The whole thing is freaking ridiculous, I know, why even talk about it. But, thing is, I had to teach yet another wandering, warbling fear-monkey just the other day, over what had started out as a nice lunch and discussing the various pros and cons of the presidential candidates. The fella'd said something to the tune that of the Democrats only Hillary would be ready to take on the Islamofascists on Day One. What on earth does that mean?, I wondered to myself. So, I went off. And we fought. And we disagreed. And he will get this blog as a means of more rationally explaining my position than alternatively laughing and shouting at each other in a crowded, swanky restaraunt at lunch-time. My new rule is only one beer at lunch and no politics. Moving on...
The whole Islamofascist myth is based upon the ludicrous, incredibly expensive and dangerous idea that if the Free World (whatever that means) don't continue pouring in bodies and bullets into various points in the MidEast then the Fundy Muzzies will rise and somehow aspire to the miraculous position of utter dominance over the far more powerful West, to the point that America's (and indeed the free World's) Citizenry will be forced to adopt the Odious Way of the Dirty Arab, Forever.
It’s ridiculous. Take over the world. Please. Gonna be tough. Gonna need boats. Lots of ‘em. Do they got lots of boats? What about shitloads of planes and tanks and such? Got shitloads of planes and tanks and such? Shitloads of satellites and intel? What about ABSOLUTELY LIMITLESS FINANCIAL RESOURCES! Got ABSOLUTELY LIMITLESS FINANCIAL RESOURCES? I figger they don’t. I figger if the best way they’ve devised to fight their blood enemy (who’s usually firing at them with some of the most sophisticated weapons in the history of War) is by strapping dynamite to their fellow Citizen’s freaking chests, I’m gonna hazard a wild guess that they most likely don’t have ABSOLUTELY LIMITLESS FINANCIAL RESOURCES. Which, they’re gonna need. Gonna have to feed a lot of soldiers. Buy shitloads of box-cutters. And what-not. That’s if you plan on INVADING, OCCUPYING and TAKING OVER THE ENTIRE WORLD.
Want to know what's laughable? You know what the very first thing is that happens when all these cats get into the same room with one another? The very first thing? They start KILLING ONE ANOTHER. They've been doing it FOR CENTURIES. No they're going to get all organized and take the hand of their blood enemies and get all organized? Not happening. Can't. Not real.
Yeesh. Whole thing sounds so...I don’t know...Vietnamish? You remember Vietnam, right? The forces of Democracy had to meet head on with the raging Communist hoard, once and for all, with the Freedom of the Entire World at stake? Thank the baby Jesus we did and that we stopped ‘em cold, cuz well, what if we hadn’t? How’s yer Russian, comrade? Seriously. It was that close. But we stopped ‘em cold. Sorry? What’s that? We didn’t? What do you mean we never stopped the Communist advance in the jungles of Vietnam? Is this all some crazy Soviet mass thought experiment? Am I in the Matrix? Cool.
Did you know that Robert MacNamara, who served as Secretary of Defense during the Vietnam War years once got into a fist-fight with his Vietnamese counterpart in a bar because they couldn’t agree on what the Vietnam war had actually been about? True story. Long after the conflict had ended. Vietnamese dude got all indignant. He’s like: "We were joining Communist China?!? Are you crazy? WE’VE FOUGHT THEM OFF IN THESE LANDS FOR CENTURIES." Then they got into a fist-fight over it. Cuz they couldn’t agree with the cause. Cool, huh? Oh sure, scary as fuck, but a cool story.
I digress. Where was I? Ah yes. The evil Islamofascist scourge. It's not even correct gramatically. You need a fully functioning State to be Fascist. That's in the definition folks. It's how it works.
I guess the point is that I’m not telling you not to be afraid of terrorists. I’m not telling you not to be afraid of Islamic extremists. I’m not even trying to tell you not to be afraid of Muslims, dark people, your next door neighbour or circus clowns. I am telling you not to be afraid of the Rising Tide of World-Beating IslamoFascists. It was just the scariest thing the NeoCons could imagine to spring on you after the latest scandal or stupid decision.
THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SENSECHANGE CENTER FOR POSITIVE CHANGE. HAVE A GREAT DAY.