If so, you're not alone.
Folks, I know how important this election is, and I know how important this debate is. Tonight will finally emblazon upon the American consciousness the fact that Sarah Palin is as well equipped for the Vice Presidency as, say, your average college sophomore. (Probably too generous an assessment.)
Tonight, everyone will see Palin for what she is -- someone so far out of her league that she can't even see the league from her house.
What explains, then, the flurry of diaries either (1) giving advice to Biden or (2) warning that we better not underestimate Palin? Why all the hand-wringing about the "low expectations" game that Republicans are surely playing?
Newsflash: unless Palin has acquired 40 IQ points and/or a lifetime's worth of intellectual curiosity in the last week, she cannot "win" this debate. Not even remotely. She may spin and dissemble and employ anecdotes and wrinkle her nose, but she will not convince crucial undecided voters that she is prepared for job.
No one believes, I hope, that Palin is "hiding her light under a bushel" and will use tonight's event for the big reveal. No one truly thinks, I hope, that Palin deliberately sabotaged her Gibson/Couric interviews just to set low expectations.
Let's examine that last possibility for a moment.
Imagine that you are a candidate for the Vice Presidency. (Congratulations!) If you are a truly thoughtful, substantive candidate, you would never agree to make yourself a national laughingstock simply as a subversive debate strategy. If you are a thoughtful, substantive candidate, you don't need such strategies -- you show the voters what you know. In every setting, in every speech and interview, your substance shines through.
You would never allow yourself to be set up by your running mate's campaign.
But if you're a sub-par candidate, if you're not familiar with the issues in any way except "having heard of them before," you might be tempted to play the low-expectations game. You're doing so poorly that almost any show of debate competence will look like, um, competence. The press and public won't be expecting much but you will unleash your stealth intelligence at the debate . . . They won't know what hit 'em . . . Except . . .
There is no stealth intelligence. For the strategy to work, you'd need the stealth intelligence. Damn, did you forget it at home??
Compadres, there's no "there" there. Well-delivered sound bites do not competence make, and at this rocky juncture in our national history, even low-information voters need to see the beef.
No worries.