Really...
With Barack Obama continuing to consolidate his lead in the polls, John McCain needs a game-changer.
He’s counting on two things to bring that about: an aggressive advertising attack on the Illinois senator and a great performance in Tuesday’s town-hall-style debate in Nashville, Tenn.
And in case the debate doesn't do it, here's the secret game-changer game plan between now and the election:
October 12 -- The Republican National Committee sues to invalidate all Presidential votes cast before October 15th, on the grounds that John McCain's right to free speech has been violated. "McCain has the right to be heard while seated," a campaign spokesperson explains.
October 16th -- The McCain campaign begins airing a hard hitting ad, tying real estate lender Charles Keating to Barack Obama, by way of real estate developer Tony Rezko.
October 17th -- In a speech at Liberty College in Lynchburg, Virginia, Sarah Palin accuses Barack Obama of belonging to the party of "Rum, Romanism and Rebellion."
October 18th and 19th -- John McCain campaigns the entire weekend from a hammock at his ranch near Sedona, Arizona. "My friends, America deserves a President who is willing to awake from a nap any time an urgent situation arises," McCain says to a pool reporter sent to cover the entire weekend.
October 22nd -- John McCain announces that as President he will fire Ben Bernanke and bring back Alan Greenspan as Chairman of the Federal Reserve. "It works best when Americans aren't clear about what the Fed is doing, and Alan obfuscates better than anyone," McCain explains.
October 25th -- While John McCain takes again to his hammock, Sarah Palin campaigns in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Struggling to hold Wyoming in the Republican column, Palin promises that she will be "even tougher than Dick Cheney."
October 27th -- The McCain campaign releases a new ad, tying Barack Obama to Fidel Castro, by suggesting that the dictator once tried out for both the Chicago White Sox and the Chicago Cubs.
October 29th -- In a speech at Bates College in Lewiston, Maine, Sarah Palin attacks Barack Obama for essentially conceding New England. "Jeezum Crow, except for New Hampshire, he has hardly any field staff in the entire region. What is he thinking?" Palin asks.
October 31st -- The McCain campaign releases a new ad, arguing that Barack Obama is both for and against Halloween. "In every part of his life, does Obama believe that he should go both ways?" the ad closes.
November 1st -- In a surprise move, John McCain announces his entire proposed Cabinet. Beginning with Representative William Jefferson of Louisiana as Attorney General, all of the potential nominees are Democrats. "How much more mavericky can you get, my friends?" McCain asks.
November 3rd -- In a paid speech on national television, John McCain promises to undergo a sex change operation if he is elected. "Sarah and I will be tougher than Margaret Thatcher, and we'll shatter every glass ceiling in Washington with your help," Mccain promises.
November 4th -- The Republican National Committee sues to invalidate all Presidential votes cast before November 4th, on the grounds that voting before Election Day violates the McCain campaign's right to conduct voter-suppression efforts.