Planning the nineteenth presidential library should be a real challenge. Aside from protests about its location and debates about its cost, the more obvious problem seems to be what'll go in it.
I've tried to put together a list of items I think the American people would like to see displayed, but of the W/L record of the Texas Rangers, a tape of Mr. Bush's Skull and Bones initiation and his service record while in the National Guard, only the Rangers have been forthcoming.
PROBLEMS
For those who have difficulties with the plummeting stock market, keeping up with their house payments or rent and managing their health care costs, bear in mind the adage that there are always folks worse off than you. Consider, for instance, the people who are entrusted with stocking the largest presidential library ever – a monument to our 44th Chief Executive, George W. Bush.
Normally, the people who plan for what goes where in presidential libraries have the choice of concentrating on either domestic or foreign victories. Seldom does a president rate kudus on both, but Franklin Roosevelt managed to lead the country out of the Great Depression and still made hash out of Hitler and Tojo in WWII. Others weren't so fortunate. Harry Truman's tenure was blighted by economic woes and at one time, rated lower than any other administration's – up until recently - although he presided over Japan's surrender. Ronald Reagan's clarion call to get the government off "our" backs did not specify whose backs and the consequences are painfully evident in today's papers. His success in foreign affairs, however, is undisputed – the wall came down. Lyndon Johnson triumphed in advocating a more even domestic playing field, but fell on his face in Vietnam, as did several others including John Kennedy and Richard "I am not a crook" Nixon.
For the planners of the Bush Library, however, the task is more challenging. For the first time in recent memory, these people don't have the luxury of choosing between foreign and domestic policies. Instead of soft-pedaling a falling economy or a disastrous overseas adventure, they must ignore both. The problem is there isn't too much else to put in the gigantic $200-500 million building. What do you want taxpayers to admire about a guy who not only started his own war, calling it "The Bush Doctrine," but also deregulated the country into the worst meltdown since another Republican, Herbert Hoover, allowed the free market to go its merry way in 1929?
Anyway, let's eavesdrop on the planners as they discuss the design of the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Snack Shop. They are mapping out the floor plan:
Planner A: "Well, the crowds come in to a big hall with a 200 square-foot photo of Bush in that pilot's outfit and the 'Mission Accomplished' banner on top of it."
Planner B: "Sounds good, but for God's sake, don't put the date in."
Planner C: "From the hall, they should go right into the Iraq Room where we'll have pictures of the art work and libraries we kept people from looting."
Planner A: "Bad idea. All we've got are pictures of oil wells and derricks. Maybe we should put the picture of Saddam's statue getting torn down."
Planner B: "How about sticking in a couple of pictures of Donald Rumsfeld?"
Planner A: "Are you kidding? The next thing people will start asking about Wolfowitz, Pearle, Cheney and all the others who said the war would be over in a week and that we'd be greeted like liberators. Just put up a picture of Saddam's statue coming down."
Planner A: "O.K. Next, we'll steer the crowds into the Katrina Room."
Planner B: "Nope. Karl didn't think we should remind people about that."
Planner A: "What about the American Business Room?"
Planner B: "You mean the one with models of the Enron Building, the Worldcom Stadium and the Tyco Tower?"
Planner A: "Never mind. What other rooms do we have?"
Planner C; "There's the Executive Appointments Room with biolgraphies of Alberto Gonzales and the lawyers Bush wanted put in. Then there's the Constitution Room and the No Torture Room. Maybe we should put up a picture of Saddam's statue coming down."
Planner A: "O.K. Let's take a break and check on our golden parachutes. We'll get together after lunch and work on the Trickle Down Room and the Tribute to Health Care Room."
You'll have to agree that these guys will have real problems getting ready for opening day. I wonder if Dead Eye Dick Cheney or David Addington, his alter ego, will show up. Maybe Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity (rhymes with "insanity") will make speeches telling everybody how right they've been in backing our first compassionate conservative president. Maybe we'll get a treat and get to see the people from his administration who've gotten presidential pardons. It should be a grand occasion.
The Bogus Economist © 2008