I took part in a Post-Debate Analysis on one of the major news networks tonight. I was asked to sum up my thoughts on the event in literally two sentences, or less. In the five minutes I had to come up with the two sentences, I realized that I could have written perhaps as many as two dozen double-sided pages on the spectacle...single spaced.
In the end, I finally completed my task using the following summary.
Barack Obama presented himself very clearly, as a world leader. John McCain appeared to be a troubled individual who could start screaming "RED RUM...RED RUM" at just about any moment.
I know that I have been saying for the last week that this race is over. I know that I have written extensively over the last eighteen months, essentially suggesting that the North Vietnamese still appeared to be spiking Johnny's morning latte' with something that deprived whatever remained of his brain, of even enough oxygen to allow for the formation of rational thought. For these reasons, I suspect it comes as no surprise to anyone that I would now suggest that McCain will draw exactly 28% of the total votes cast on November 4th.
"Twenty-eight percent," you say?
Twenty-eight percent...roughly the same percentage as has continued to support George W. Bush in the vast majority of polls inquiring as to whether Americans approve or disaprove of the perfomance of "The Bushmaster" following the events of the last eight years.
For the life of me, however...I will be forever unable to say I understand why even Cindy would vote for the crusty old fart at this point.
Where to begin?
I guess for starters, it must be mentioned again, that virtually any psychiatrist will cofirm the fact that no one...regardless of who they are, or how tough they want you to know they are...no one, spends nearly six years in a POW Camp and later authors a book entitled, "I'm Okay, You're Okay". Quite frankly, I give Johnny War Hero more credit than he is entitled to, for getting as far in his PTSD Rehabilitation, as he has been able to do.
A more interesting issue might be, how in the hell either of the major political Parties allowed Johnny CatScan to become their Standard Bearer in a Presidential Election. Oh sure...I admit that there were more than a few times when I thought, "Hey, it only costs a thousand bucks to get your name on the ballot in the New Hampshire Primary...and, I have a good education, critical business acumen, a vision for the country..."
And then, I remember a little matter of a keg of beer, three sheep and a video camera on a cold and very lonely night in Western Kansas in 1978...at which point that thought of doing a Town Hall Meeting in Dixville Notch goes RIGHT out the window.
At this point, I am guessing that if Cindy really did love her husband...her wedding gift to him might have been a lifetime supply of white socks and bermuda shorts, more sandals than he could ever wear out, and a metal detector...instead of a Congressional Election.
Bottom-line...I have worked with certifiable, and diagnosed mental defectives. I have lived with certifiable, and diagnosed mental defectives. Sadly...I was once married to a certifiable AND DIAGNOSED mental defective. And, if there was ever a person who exhibited more of the same behavioral patterns as all of these individuals combined...it is John S. McCain.
Forget about the fact that Charles Keating bought what little soul McCain managed to hide from his Vietnamese captors, very early on in his political career.
Forget about the fact that McCain earns THREE Government Pensions, has NEVER PAID A DIME for either his own health care, or any medical procedure.
Forget about the fact that McCain has never received a paycheck in his life that wasn't GREEN and had "The United States of America" as the Payor.
Forget about the fact that in reality, and all of his protestations to the contrary notwithstanding...Johnny McNuts simply CANNOT WAIT to press the RED BUTTON...or, that he couldn't care LESS what the target of those missiles might be.
Forget about the fact that in this, a time of economic crisis, a man who admits he knows nothing about the economy, and a former sportscaster would be responsible for the security of your 401k Retirement Plan. (No offense to Keith Olbermann, by any means.)
Forget about the fact that at the 11th hour, Mr. Cut Taxes, Cut Spending, shows up at a Debate with a NEW PLAN...TO BUY EVERY AMERICAN A FREE HOUSE! I mean, for God's Sake...George McGovern only wanted to give every American $1,000 for their vote...and republicans wanted him PROSECUTED for bribery.
A FREE HOUSE? From a guy who not thirty seconds earler claimed that OBAMA was going to raise taxes and bring back the days of "Big Government"???
Like I said...sometimes, you don't need a weathergirl to know which way the wind is blowing. Other times...you don't need Sigmund Freud to make a formal diagnosis before forming an opinion on the incompetence of a raving lunatic.
"THAT ONE"?
Please, let me repeat that one..."THAT ONE"???
And, it wasn't even the clearly degoratory usage of the phrase which will go down in infamy. It was the look on the face of Johnny Psycho.
But, before we go even that far...GO BACK AND REVIEW THE DEBATE. Obama had torched and scorched McCain from the opening bell in this meeting. McCain was flustered. He had tried to rope-a-dope Obama for four days, into believeing that Bill Ayers, Raines and Rezko were going to be launched out of a cannon from Row 3 as soon as the debate got under way. Obama was not visibly moved.
McCain went RIGHT for the "Chicken in every pot...Hybrid in every driveway...and, oh by the way I WILL BUY YOUR HOUSE FOR YOU" gambit in response to a very early question. Not only did Obama not flinch...but, before McCain had an opportunity to expalin HOW he was going to either BUY your home, OR PAY FOR IT...right wing bloggers were lighting him up as though Sarah Palin had offered a hundred and fifty bucks for half of his right foot...and gave each one of them a complimentary Alaska State Helicopter.
And, finally...as the entire viewing audience, including the equally wacky "twenty-eight percent" had already concluded that John Boy's mother and father were probably also brother and sister...Johnny McTard had tried to "nail jello to the wall" and referrred to the soon to be Most Powerful Person in the Free World, as "THAT ONE".
Like I said...I haven't even gotten into the cavalcade of complete and utter bullshit which masqueraded as a policy discussion.
- That could take a full day.
- It was clearly no more than a smokescreen, ANYWAY...and,
- What purpose could it possibly serve to discuss ANYTHING, whether or not it even vaguely resembled an item concerning "policy"...when that item was offered by a Candidate whose principal advisor is a talking dog that helps the Candidate understand who God wants him to kill next?
There is a huge part of me that wants to say, "Hey...give the guy a break, he's got enough porridge in his frontal lobe to adequately service a tweelve generation Bear Family Reunion." But, then I say..."Ya know what, lives, careers, and futures are on the line here...and this Cabbage Patch Kid could end up not only harming people if he were to win...but, could just as easily be up on a roof with an AK-47, and an even more heavily armed running mate...if he doesn't."
It is at that point that I sit down and write a letter to Barack Obama and say...
"Hey...Mr. President, you don't know me, BUT...if you ask, I will more than gladly move to Arizona, and with your active assistance, run for the U.S. Senate against Johnny McNuts...just so that you never have to worry about him EVER finding his way back to Washington, ever again."
I say this, for no reason other than that I have come to the total realization that John McCain is an egomaniacal five-alarm paranoid, scizophrenic, sociopath...who will thankfully die without ever having achieved the one goal he has ever set out for himself. And, make no mistake about it...once we are secure in the knowledge that John S. McCain will never become President of these United States...at least this Blogger is going to take a real hard look at any fact that might get Hannity off of the Public Airwaves.
"Oh, P.S., Mr. President...there is a little matter of an old video tape that perhaps you can help me locate..."
Thanks for the read, everybody.
Lionus