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I've stated this a few times in comments, but I am still a registered Libertarian. While I have been working for the Obama campaign for months now, knocking on doors and phone banking and sending e-mails to anyone and everyone close to me that I can bring into the fold, in the eyes of the McCain camp I am still an "undecided voter".

Which brings me to my story. Yesterday morning, after a truly effed up Friday that ended with me calling the police and filing an incident report, I was canvassed by the McCainanites.

Join me, won't you...

I'll start by recapping the whole shit storm on Friday. I live in Overland Park, KS, and was at a grocery store with my two and a half year old in the cart. As always, I was rocking my Obama T-shirt (one of several) and was going about my business in a laid back manner. I'm stopped in front of the coffee, when all of a sudden my cart is rammed. I look up, and a giant, pink wad of flesh is slowly trying to push his cart into mine. Before I could get a word out, the massive, balding, mouth-breathing troglodyte proceeded to call me a "commie faggot" because I was an Obama supporter.

Friends, I am not the nicest person on this Earth. When someone rams into me, then calls me two very derogatory names, I tend to lose it. Were it not for my son, it would've been worse. However, before the management got there, I managed to get out, "Look you miserable excuse for a sideshow freak, under no circumstances do I have to defend myself for you. Every time you draw breath, I feel cheated. That someone would be so wholly ignorant, yet be able to drive themselves to the supermarket is beyond my level of understanding." I was using too many big words, and he was clearly becoming enraged. The management showed up, kicked him out, allowed me to pay, and I was fully expecting an altercation in the parking lot (was I back in jr. high?) when I left, so I called the cops. When they showed up, he had split, so I filed an incident report and they took the video footage from the store. The officer that I spoke with was incredibly kind and understanding, and told me that this wasn't the first call of this nature that OPPD had received lately.

Anyhoo, flash forward to yesterday. There's a knock on my door. I thought it might be a follow up from the cops, and answered. To my immediate surprise, it was a couple in their late 30's with McCain/Palin buttons. They went through the usual canvasser rap with me, and I decided that after my previous day, I wanted to have some fun. So I played dumb.

"Well, I really haven't made up my mind", says I. "I'm nervous about our economic situation." "Well, you can bet that Barack Obama will raise your taxes." "Really? Because I read on the Tax Policy Center's website that he wouldn't." "Well, people get to say whatever they want on the internet, you shouldn't believe that." "What will John McCain do to lower my taxes?" Silence. Long pause. Then, "Are you comfortable with a President that has ties to domestic terrorism?" (WTF? Where was my answer?) "No, of course not" I said, "As a matter of fact, I've been thinking about that quite a bit lately." Big grins from the McCainanites. "Did you know that Barack Hussein Obama is a close friend of a domestic terrorist?" They're practically salivating at this point, and we've only been speaking for a few minutes. "Yes" deep breath "I know about Bill Ayers. Can I ask you guys a question?" Puzzled looks. "If Bill Ayers is such a detestable man, why was he allowed to be a member of the Annenberg Foundation?" Their faces darkened, and they muttered incoherently for a minute, and before they could speak, I added, "speaking of domestic terrorists, how's Gordon Liddy these days?" "So, we'll just put you down as undecided, then."

"No. Wait. You pulled me away from college football to try and convince me to vote for John McCain. Here's what I think of your candidate. He is a fraud of a man with a horrible record on every issue that is important to me as a human being. He has a detestable record concerning Americas troops and vets, promises more wars, and has ran the most despicable campaign I've ever seen. He has sunk to a level that I can't even begin to comprehend, and by supporting him, you two support the policies of hatred, fear, bigotry, and ignorance. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go back to my game." Polite yet authoritative closing of the door, then I watched as they walked by the window of our apartment that proudly displays our Obama/Biden sign.

Ah, catharsis.

UPDATE: Holy crap! Rec list? You guys are freakin' awesome. Thank you, it's my first time. Your comments and support mean the world to me.


UPDATE 2: I just got a call back from the officer that took my initial statement. They used the video from the store, and the video from the parking lot to find his car and get his license. At around 8:00 this morning, he was served with a summons to appear in court on assault charges! The best part...the court date is ster for Nov. 19th! Yup, just a bit over two weeks after we elect Barack Obama! I can't wait!

UPDATEx3: OK, so I just looked at the list of Kossacks that have recommended this diary, and I'm absofuckinglutely blown away! You guys are beyond awesome! This isn't why I joined Kos, but I'm humbled by the support and kind words! Seriously, all you folks kick ass!

Originally posted to Relevant Rhino on Sun Oct 12, 2008 at 04:41 PM PDT.

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