My senior boy's football team had their Homecoming Game Friday night. I wore my Obama shirt and took a notebook along to record the comments. First, I need to set the scene. The game was held in a little town of a thousand in Eastern Washington-the Idaho border is a few miles away. This is the middle of a really, really red area. My views are quite well-known but I get away with them because I am a skilled fisherman. That means a lot around here.
The first guy I run into is preacher Fred who I first met when he asked me if his boys could join the baseball team I was coaching a few years ago. He has ten kids, builds and sells furniture and has a congregation of about 30 people miles from town. He home schools all his kids. He is the most radical fuck I have ever met. I had him write an article for my weekly newspaper I ran a few years ago which almost got me ran out of town. His article was supposed to be an inspiring religious piece but turned out to be a complete scathing of almost everything that he viewed as wrong in the community.. I got a box full of responses after I ran his article in the spot entitled: The Religious Corner. Anyway here's the conversation as I remember it.
"Hey, there, Blackie. Your boy is doing pretty good out there this year."
"Thanks Fred. You ought to see him pitch, that's his real talent."
"I read about him this summer. Hey, what's with the shirt?"
"Oh, I support Barack."
" I always suspected you were one of those liberal types."
"I've never hid it, Fred."
"So you support some guy who believes it's okay to kill babies, you know break their skulls and suck out their innards...
"Knock it off Fred. He doesn't believe in any such thing."
"Yes, he does and if you guys get him elected he'll support the gays and force me to marry 'em up at my church.
"Fred, please, please invite me to your first gay marriage ceremony, I'm begging you man."
"Seriously, he'll put all that liberal bullshit into action...
"Fred, I didn't think preachers were supposed to say bullshit...
"What are you talking about, I heard you while you were coaching my boys."
"I've always been a fucking heathen and how are the boys?"
" Fine just fine. I have a question for you? Why are you better than me?"
"What are you talking about? I'm no better than anyone."
"Well, I had to get down on my knees and ask the Lord to take over my life in 1972 and he did. I couldn't do it-live life-myself but you think you can. So you think you're better than me."
"Fred don't start on me. The Lord and I have a perfectly good agreement."
"He's probably given up on you."
"How do you know. Okay, I'll bite. You see I like to keep things simple. I seem to recall that there are ten basic rules and one of those is " Thall shall not kill. I didn't know all you guys believed in putting asterisks next to the rules. I guess you guys think thall shall not kill unless..
"Oh, that's stupid. If your kid was getting beat up over there you'd go protect him and the Bible says that's just fine"
"But it is beyond me how all you guys support the war in Iraq."
"You do know that the Muslims want to kill us all don't you? They think they will be heroes and be met in the other world with a bunch of virgins...
"Do what Lewis Black says: Tell them you've seen the virgins and they're all fat and ugly."
The crowd screams as my son catches a touchdown pass....
"That was a nice catch by your boy."
"Thanks, Fred let me buy you a hot dog."
"Most people don't even talk to me. They hate me because I'm a Christian. You can't believe the prejudice I get all the time."
"They don't hate you, Fred it's just that you're a bit too intense. But hey, anyone who loves baseball like you do is A-Okay by me.
I walked over to another crowd. Four guys in cowboy hats who are all real life ranchers.
"Your kid made a nice play there," hat one said to me. "I didn't know a liberal's kid would be allowed to play football. Thought you'd make him play soccer." Everyone laughed.
"Hey, looking at this group I am reminded of the three biggest lies in Eastern Washington—My trucks paid for, I won this belt buckle in the rodeo and I really was just helping that sheep over the fence."
"That's Montana, Goddamit." What's with the shirt. Are you really voting for the Black guy?"
"Yeah, after how your crooked dry drunk fake Texas cowboy screwed us all I thought I'd vote for someone smart this time."
"Well, this may surprise you but all of us was talking about voting for him. But we ain't quite ready to wear one of his faggy shirts."
"He'd do a good job."
"If I do vote for him and he does raise my taxes I'll hunt him down, I promise you that. We're all goin' broke up there. Been catching any fish?"
"I've been too busy blogging lately."
"Oh, fuck me. You're a blogger now?"
"Hey, Blackie, forget the shirt," said hat two, "You ain't looking too good. You couldn't get laid with a fistful of pardons up at the women's prison." Big laughs at that one.
"Hey, Lester, congratulations by the way.
"On what?"
"Being awarded the 2008 poster child for birth control." Gotta go! "Hey, vote for Barack, I promise I won't tell anyone."
"Oh, it's Barack is it? Are you two butt buddies?" More laughs.
I walked to a different section were I ran into Lisa who noticed my shirt and said, "I'm voting for that guy, I want you to know."
"I always knew you were smarter than most around here, dear."
"You'd be surprised how many of my friends are going to."
I circulated around, as my boy's team ran up the score and received several more comments on the shirt. Surprisingly, the pros vs. cons comments ran about 2 to 1. I noticed that everyone who told me they supported Barack did so in an odd way. They'd whisper it to me and look around furtively hoping people wouldn't hear.
I got home and thought is it possible that there is a reverse Bradley effect going on in this country? Has Obama touched people in ways that aren't being or can't be measured? I think it could be true if my wandering around at the game is any indication. This is a ruby red and lily white area. The polls for this area show support for McCain at around 60% but this homecoming experience has really got me wondering. If what I heard is true, this could be a landslide and he could win in odd areas. Sure, I got some comments about him being a Muslim and such but not as many as I predicted.
I know these people and they are hurting, trying to keep their family farms and ranches, getting killed with gas and diesel prices and trying to hang onto a lifestyle. Could it be that they are finally seeing that the Republicans aren't going to help them? For the first time in my adult life, I sense something different from these conservative folks.
I wished Barack would have taken up target shooting or something. I wish he would give a speech on the two different worlds of guns. If he could show that he supports hunting, gun collecting and target shooting all harmless things and then explain that in the cities guns are a different world altogether and communicate this I believe he could neutralize this gun issue. This could translate to at least five percentage points in an election from this type of area.
Ninety percent of the people I talked to at the game get their deer each year. Many get an elk. They love this meat, and it is a big part of their life and culture. When I was a teacher I was always getting approached with a student who wanted me to try his or her elk salami or such which I had to eat. I hate this shit, it makes me gag but they love it and are proud of their recipes. "Isn't that good?" I'd have to smile and pretend to chew so as to not insult them. I feel that way about my smoked steelhead so I understand. Here is the speech I wished Barack would have given :
I wish I would have had a father who would have taught me about hunting and gun safety. I can see how it would be a great bonding thing. I try to understand this world that I never got the opportunity to be in and respect it. I am from another world-the city of Chicago where hundred lose their lives each year due to gun violence. I think there are two distinct worlds in talking about guns. I would never interfere in the hunting and gun collecting world. But I think we can all agree that getting assault rifles and automatic weapons off of our streets is an entirely different deal. I worry about guns in Chicago but don't worry about guns in Montana or Colorado.
"