The Missouri GOP sent out a rather despicable mailer trying to link Barack Obama to William Ayers – an issue that, frankly, is a non-starter with most voters. Rather than attacking Obama’s policy, they sought to play the association game because let's be honest - they don’t have anything else to stand on.
I tried to be nice – I really, really did. But I was shaking I was so pissed off. So when I called the Missouri Republican State Committee HQ about the mailer that I found addressed to my wife, I tried to play dumb, like my wife and I were the lowest common denominator voters in the state (as opposed to the sophisticated, college-educated middle class urbanites we really are).
Here is a copy of the mailer that went out from the Missouri Republican Party:
So naturally, this warranted a phone call. I hopped on my iPhone and went to the Missouri GOP web site and found the HQ number. Thankfully I managed to get a hold of someone to ask about the mailer.
Below is a loose transcript of our discussion.
"Thank you for calling the Missouri Republican State Committee, how may I help you?"
"I came home from work and was shocked to see a mailer addressed to my wife bringing up Barack Obama’s association with Weather Underground terrorist William Ayers. I really think the Missouri GOP is wasting their money sending this garbage around – polls have shown that most Americans think this is a non-starter."
"But Barack Hussein Obama’s association with a terrorist that he pals around with is news that needs to reach the voters. May I ask, are you an independent voter, or is there an independent voter in your household?"
"Yes, I am a registered Democrat and my wife is technically registered as an Independent, even though she's a die-hard Democrat."
"I see. Has she seen the mailer yet?"
"No, because I plan on throwing it in the trash, where it belongs, before she comes home."
"Sir, I urge you to let her see the mailer so she can make up her own mind about Obama’s association with an unrepentant domestic terrorist."
"But what about McCain’s association with G. Gordon Liddy?"
"I don’t know who that is. Is he a domestic terrorist?"
"Well, he hatched plans to firebomb the Brookings Institution in Washington, D.C. He was convicted for a bevy of illegal activities related to Watergate and spent like 100 days in solitary confinement."
"But is he a domestic terrorist?"
"I guess you could say that, yes. On his radio show he advocated shooting ATF agents in the head for a killshot because they would be wearing bullet-proof vests."
"But is he a domestic terrorist?"
"You aren’t even listening - just towing the GOP line. Nice. This is why every downticket Republican running for state office in Missouri is going to get slaughtered on November 4. This is why Obama could turn out 175,000 people in St. Louis and Kansas City in the same day and why McCain could only muster up about five percent of that number."
"I’m sure if McCain went to Liberal St. Louis and Liberal Kansas City he’d out-draw Obama. And at least we don’t associate with domestic terrorists!"
"Are you kidding me? Obama was 8 years old when the Weather Underground stuff went down. He worked with Ayers at the Annenberg Foundation, when Ayers was a University Professor!"
"But he wanted to kill Americans."
"Please, just take my wife off of your list."
"Sir, let me ask you – how do you vote? Do you vote your convictions?"
"Yes, which is why I’m a registered Democrat who has voted straight Democrat my entire life and will continue to do so my entire life."
"Are you aware that your taxes will go up if Obama is elected?"
"That’s a lie, and I can’t believe you can sit there on the phone and spew such egregious falsehoods."
"It’s not a lie. Your taxes will go down under McCain – that’s a fact."
"Again, no it’s not. Now please, take me and my wife off of your hateful list."
At this point, I had to hang up. It was too much to handle without a generous pour of Glenlivet.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need another drink. I've got some phonebanking to do for Obama.