I'm crying, all puffy cheeks and shaking shoulders and breath catching in my throat. I handed my ballot in today. I'm never this hysterical and uhinged, but I've come apart. Perhaps it was just the final act in what has been a long, strange, bumpy ride to a destination I never thought I'd reach.
In kissmygrit's wonderful diary today, I posted the following comment in response to someone saying how he couldn't wait to vote. My response was titled "Thank god I didn't have to."
Because honestly, I could not have taken any more of this.
The last month has been nerve racking....
And I went through a hell of a lot to reach this point. Recent citizen, first time in my life getting to vote, first time in my life even wanting to vote, first time in my life feeling a sense of hope, first time in my life I JUST CAN"T WAIT FOR JANUARY to come.
Feeling like the earth is going to be reborn!
Like waiting for a 10.0 magnitude earthquake but one that's going to do only good - a seismic shift in everything. The colors of this world, the scent of the air, the mindset of everyone around me.
I just know it. I just know it. It's all going to change and be breath-taking and beautiful and we're going to cry every time we stop to take it all in. Yes, that's the way it's going to be and I CAN'T WAIT!!
Thank god Oregon has mail-in voting, that I could peacefully do with no fuss.
It's 25 minutes later and my mind is still rushing on like a speeding train. And I have to get it all out before my head explodes...
Is the world going to change? Can I look up to my government, believe it will do good things? Will I get sleep at night, knowing we aren't bombing and maiming and burning and injuring men, women, children and babies for no fault of theirs? Can I hope that this country will finally, finally see the light? Understand how wrong the Right has been, those crazy wingnuts and deluded, unthinking, anti-intellectuals?
Will we stop trying to ban books and reject science? Will we engage in intelligent, thoughtful debate? Will we learn? Will we build schools and upgrade our infrastructure? Will we become responsible with our planet, find new ways to create energy and save our fellow planetary species and their habitat, those who have no voice of their own and depend so trustingly on us, the human animal, to not destroy us all?
At no point in the history of this country have we been so lucky, so right, so ready in our Presidential candidate.
To say we're on the cusp of a sea-change is to give the sea much too much credit, for the potential in what could happen in the minds of men these next four years would put the sea to shame. Roll in tides of wisdom. Land on the beaches of justice and equality. Yes, turn the sea-horses of doubt, prejudice and shadows on their heads.
I voted today. I voted for Barak Obama. Let's roll, history, let's roll...