John McCain’s campaign has released the following statement from Senator McCain calling for a complete suspension of reality with just two weeks remaining until the presidential election:
"Dear Friends,
My friends, it is time for some straight talk. My campaign is in crisis. While I once believed the fundamentals of my campaign were sound, it has become evident over these past weeks and months the news about my campaign is not good. Today, I met with my closest advisory and they laid out a worst-case scenario which was too horrible to imagine. This scenario is imminent if we do not take immediate action.
For the good of my great campaign, I am announcing a complete suspension of reality. It is my hope Senator Obama’s campaign will join me in suspending reality so we as a nation can once again focus on happier thoughts, mainly my upcoming presidency.
My friends, you may wonder how it is possible to suspend reality in this age of 24/7 news coverage. Well, let me give you some more straight talk. It’s not going to be easy, but if we pull together I believe this country can completely forget the events of the last 8 years, and, especially, the last 8 months. When a thought pops into your head which has anything to do with President Bush, Republicans, the economy, Iraq, Afghanistan, America’s standing in the world, Sarah Palin, the national debt, unemployment, global climate change, corruption, subpoenas, presidential signing statements, Osama bin Laden, the state of health care in America, civil liberties, the United States constitution, lobbyists, how many houses I own, gas prices, dependence on foreign oil, my age and medical history, bridges in Alaska, the Keating Five, polls, my angry supporters, my judgment, my erratic behavior, the debates, deregulation, Katie Couric, my definition of rich, privatization and endorsements, simply ignore it. You also must pretend Barack Obama, Joe Biden and the Democratic Party do not exist.
I know this will be hard because these are things which might come up during an average day, sometimes when you do not even expect them. When one of these unnecessary and unwanted thoughts does enter your mind, try thinking about something else. I like to think about baseball. You could also try puppies. They can be pretty cute, sometimes, right? If neither of those things work for you, just think about my time as a POW. I have sacrificed for my country and now I am asking all Americans to sacrifice for my campaign.
You may ask: Is all of this really necessary. My friends, I would not ask you to undertake such drastic measures if the circumstances were not so dire. My advisors tell me the American public has so overvalued reality, Senator Obama could win as many as 400 electoral votes. His victory could be the largest popular vote landslide in 24 years.
Democrats have, as always, gone after their typical voters in states such as Michigan, Iowa, Wisconsin, and New Mexico. However, taking advantage of reality, greedy Democrats also began going after voters who have no business voting Democratic in states such as North Carolina, Virginia, Indiana and Montana. We must immediately act to prevent this scenario by tackling the underlying cause: reality.
While greedy Democrats intent on using reality to increase their chances of winning elections should not go unpunished, they are not entirely to blame. They share the blame with you my friends. You have come together in record numbers, you have organized like never before, you are paying attention closer, you are registering to vote even if you have not voted before, you are attending huge rallies and many of you have given money to a presidential campaign for the very first time, many of you even donating beyond your means. My campaign cannot sustain under these circumstances.
This suspension of reality may not fix the problem immediately. It may even be too late for me to prevail in this campaign. But, if we come together to cast aside all coherent thoughts on the world today, at least I will not lose the election based on issues.
Thank you. God bless you and God bless my campaign.
-John McCain"