In case you missed it, here's the start of this non-regular series
I will be watching Fixed Noise from now through Nov 4th, delighting in how they're going batshit crazy over what appears to be a total flushing of the The GOP in the White House and Congress. Yesterday I skipped the AM show and just covered their smashing primetime lineup.
THE FACTOR:
We start with Talking Points and man it's a doozy! BILL O REILLY TRACKS DOWN WILLIAM AYERS! Well, one of Bill's assistants tracks down William Ayers, while Bill relaxes in his warm, heated studio,but it's the same thing. Quite frankly I'm suprised it took him this long.
The next item is -- I am not joking here -- a "mock debate" between McCain and Obama with Bill as McCain and Marc Lamont Hill, Ph.d (FNC African American Shill, sorry -- contributor). I'll give you one guess who wins.
Sonja Eddings Brown of Projectmarriage.com which supports California's Prop 8. Brown and O'Reilly both agree: neither of them has a problem with The Gays or with The Gays having the same rights as, you know, NORMAL people. None at all! We're all about the children! Children deserve to be raised in a home with A MOMMY AND A DADDY. Do they realize how much they've killed themselves with independent, single mothers as well as cohabitating couples with this line of crap?
Body Language time! Bill's "body language expert" examines Sarah Palin in the Brian Williams interview. She's visibly nervous. These segments are such a waste of time. But then OReilly's whole show is a waste of time. A black hole WITHIN a black hole. Is there a word for that?
Raymond Burr was gay, and gossip columnist Jeanne Wolf is brought on to bring us this breaking news. Really Bill, 10 days before an election and you're devoting 6 minutes to THIS?
Bill's PINHEADs. Believe it or not, Ashley Todd and John McCain's brother Joe, BOTH qualify for this honor. Ashley Todd; self-explanatory. John McCain's brother pulls another whopper, when he calls 911 to ask about why traffic is so heavy on the Woodrow Wilson Bridge. Ha ha.
HANNITY AND COLMES
Kristen Powers is in for Allan Colmes.
We start off with SpreadTheWealthGate! Sean's whining again: "Obama has doubled down on socialism in America." To further elaborate, Dick Morris (aka Shit Weasel) is brought in. He says " We have a tremendous threat of socialism in the United states"
Hannity agrees: "He’s gonna raise corporate taxes, he’s gonna raise tax rates, raise capital gains tax, raise windfall taxes..."
Strangely there's never any conversation on Fox about how in Alaska, every citizen gets a percentage of oil profits solely for being BORN IN ALASKA, but hey, let's continue.
Weasel and Hannity are overshouting Powers as she talks about how if you are a person making $250K or less you will not see a tax raise. Hannity is on the verge of a breakdown:
"He's giving welfare checks to people, THAT'S SOCIALISM!!" Note he doesn't say Obama is GOING TO BE giving welfare checks to people, he says "HE'S GIVING". That's a subtle, but important difference
Poor Sean. Poor Fox. First there was the re-taking of the House in 2006. And now this. Like I said before, these guys really don't give a shit about McCain, but the Republican brand now smells like cowshit on a 100-degree day in Texas, and they can't turn it around! If you think of Fox's water carriers as car salesman, you've got to imagine that lately there have been more of those "motivational meetings" (think GlenGarry Glenn Ross) designed to get staff to sell harder! I mean, nobody at Fox is concerned with real journalism, that's a fact, so their main purpose is to get Repubs elected. If they can't do that then what the hell good are they?
Weasel is blabbing some more. He's saying that now that McCain's "Joe the Plumber" ads having began running in saturation, you'll now see McCain-Palin tighten the poll gap by Thursday.
He also indicates that at 527s are going to be running Jeremiah Wright ads in the Swing States. (GOPCHOICE.com specifically)
They get into the Axis of Evil: Rezko, Ayers and Wright, blah blah blah.
The Gallup is following the Dow: As long as the market keeps dropping, no one's paying attention to the fact that Obama "pals around with terrorists" Do you hear that citizens? You're a bunch of un-american fucks. Now go vote for McCain!
Sol Stern of the Manhattan Institute is here to talk about Ayers. "The Obama-Centric media has decided it's not an important issue. They think that Sarah Palin's wardrobe is more relevant than the Obama-Ayers relationship." Actually, we think the cost-of-living troubles of many in this country trump that. (Although, I have to admit, I have just three words for Sarah's earrings: FAB. YOU. LOUS!!!)
Hannity gets into how Obama has brought up his (Hannity's) name some "7,8,9,10 times. Why me? Why a little ol' talk show host like me?" As Hannity unzips, talk show host Hugh Hewitt gets the kneepads out: "Sean, you are the most visible representative of Ronald Regan Conservatism as and as such , you represent a memory that they (he doesn't say WHO exactly) would like very much not to come up during these last 10 days. Memories of a vibrant economy, a strong national defense, and a great pride in, not hostility to, America."
As Sean slips Hewitt the $50, I wonder if either of them realize just how thoroughly Hewitt just shafted Dubya and has given even MORE reason to support Obama.
Sean gives Hewitt a reacharound: "Y'know I guess you're right, I'm a guy who's not going to buy into this, I'm never going to approve of socialism, spreading the wealth, waving the white flag of surrender and hanging out with the most radical elements of society is acceptable. I'm not gonna change. I believe it will be one of the biggest mistakes in american history if we elect one of the most radical, left-wing, socialists in this country. Look I don't agree with everything that John McCain proposes, but John McCain is a genuine American hero, John McCain wants victory in Iraq, John McCain will lower taxes for everyone and erase earmarks, and I'll take John McCain's Supreme Court picks over Barack Obama's any day."
Dude is on the warpath. For the next 10 days, the laundry lists like this are going to increase in repetition.
GRETA
We start with Palin talking to a crowd. Jobs, baby, jobs!
I give Greta credit: She shows a clip of equal length of Michelle speaking as well.
Laura Ingraham is on the phone. She's been talking to Joe Da Plumber. Hold on to your hats boys and girls: Joe is "open" to running for congress. Now onto Kathleen Parker's already famous "Sycamore Tree" editorial: Ingraham says you can't be a real conservative and criticize Palin.
You see, the problem is the critics, NOT Palin. Ingraham blasts both Parker AND Peggy Noonan. This is important: Peggy Noonan had been something of a sacred cow among conservatives, having worked in (cue the trumpets) The Ronald Reagan White House. But now she qualifies as just one-half of that term. She, Parker, Buckley, Will, Brooks, et al, are now traitors and we are seeing the opening of the rife between the Classical Conservatives and their heirs, the Talk Radio cons. This is going to fester for a while, and this is why I hope and pray that Caribou Barbie is the nominee in 2012.
Obama and Joe the Plumber: Time to "Spread the Wealth!" Socialism, baby, socialism! Alex Burns from Politico.com is here to tell us how much the "spread the wealth" comment will hurt Obama. We're told that it's not really clear how much it's hurting him, and then right after that, we learn Obama has a "commanding lead in Ohio". Well guess what that means? IT'S NOT HURTING HIM AT ALL YOU FUCKWITS!
Oh, wait though! There's voter fraud in Ohio! Palestra.net says there's a "vote from home" scandal among college students who are not really residents of Ohio! The scope of these shenanigans?
THIRTEEN REGISTRATIONS AND FIVE VOTES THROWN OUT.
Greta: Oh My God" "This is outrageous"
Greta were you in a coma during November of 2000? Are you in a coma now?
BREAKING: Greta has an exclusive with Ellen arvold of Out of the Closet. This is a consignment store that the Palin family shops at in Anchorage.
Oy vey. Smell the Desperation.
At 45 minutes after the hour, Greta gets into "Troopergate"
At 45:30 Greta is done with "Troopergate".
Discussion on Obama's 30 minute ad: Could it backfire on him???
So many things could go wrong!!! He's gonna get eaten alive by the media the next day!! People in PA and FL will be mad at him for pushing the World Series back!!!
Finally, we learn that Manhattan Mini-Storage has lampooned Palin in a New York City Subway Ad. "Is Your Closet Space smaller than Her Experience?" Greta, like Billo, boldy sends an intern on the streets to ask for reaction from the good people of NYC:
"Do you think its bad PR for a company to do something like this?"
Well, uh since you've just devoted a full FIVE minutes on it, I'd say no.
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Basically, I have to admit these guys are pretty boring. They're running over all the same ground over and over and over. Sean is losing it big time: He after all, is Fox' resident Republican Missionary. Billo is more reserved. He's clearly on the mentality that a President Obama is nothing but good news for Fox and ratings. Greta tries to keep her cool, but she's clearly frustrated by the fact that her once strictly legal show has been turned into a GOP Infomercial for the length of October - November 5th.
It is going to be a major freak out on this channel depending on how large the EV count is on Nov 4th. Can't wait!