Many low information voters get confused with information and facts. This tip guide is designed to help them.
Low Information Voter Guide
This is a non-partisan information tip guide that is designed to help low information voters make proper decisions for this coming election. If after reading this guide, you still have questions contact your local election office or simply vote next year.
Tip number one: It is not necessary for you to vote every year. If it is raining, sunny or cloudy you should consider waiting until next year.
Tip #2- If you do choose to vote, be warned that you will selected for jury duty next month right during the holidays.
Tip#3- The big "R" behind a name stands for really, really bad. The big "D" stands for darn good.
Tip#4-You can vote for the white part of Barack Obama by touching with your right pointy finger Barack and saying white. Warning: If you touch Obama first it will recorded as a vote for his black side.
Tip #5-The Book of Revelations from our Holy Bible states that before the End Times black people will rule in many areas to prevent complaining on their part during the Rapture. Michael Jordan has ruled NBA basketball, Tiger Woods golf and now it is biblical that Barack Obama will rule the United States for a few years. It is predicted and thus a vote for Barack Obama is doing the Lord's will.
Tip#6- John McCain will cancel Nascar if elected. He has said so many times.
Tip#7- Biblically women were put on earth to serve men. Sarah Palin claims to be a Christian but how could she be and ignore this basic Biblical principle?
Tip#8- John McCain wears $500 shoes and they don't even have steel toes.
Tip#9-Cindy McCain did painkiller drugs with Russ Limbaugh until John McCain punched Russ in the nose less than five years ago.
Tip#10-John McCain is 72 years old and could have to allow Sarah Palin to take over the country due to health concerns. Sarah believes that she was put on the ticket by the Lord to attack Iran with a nuclear weapon which will start Armageddon and our Lord Jesus Christ will return. He will take all good Christians up on a spiritual airplane to heaven. Most of us know this. However, what is not known is that you have to have been sober for a least six months before you can get on the plane. Many will not have time to prepare and be left behind. So, a vote for Obama means you can keep drinking for several more years.
We all hope these ten tips will help you with your voting.
Forgive me for this but I am so nervous for this election I can't think properly.