From the Dissociated Mess:
Undisclosed Bunker, MD/VA/DC/WY/Elsewhere
Vice President Dick Cheney announced through a spokeswoman today that he intends to remain in office indefinitely. Many members of Congress, when asked for comment, have stated their belief, off the record, that they believe that such an action would be Unconstitutional, though most admit that they have not looked at the Constitution in many years if at all.
Cheney's Chief of Staff and former Legal Counsel David S. Addington, when asked for comment about the potential Unconstitutionality of Cheney's plan responded, "in keeping with our position that the office of the Vice Presidency is neither part of the Executive Branch or the Legislative Branch but rather is attached Constitutionally to Congress, neither the terms of Article I nor the terms of Article II of the Constitution apply to the Vice President. As such, there is no Constitutional obligation for him to relinquish his position."
A variety of groups are considering filing law suits should Cheney attempt to remain in office. A high-level official familiar with Cheney's plans has commented that such law suits would be invalid and that Cheney would ignore the results. When pressed further, this source stated: "given that my liege's position that the Office of the Vice Presidency is neither executive nor legislative, the term of office is not governed by the Constitution. Federal Courts can only consider the Constitutionality of acts and the Vice Presidency is extra-Constitutional and thereby not governed by court decisions."
When asked for comment about the Vice President's new plan, Gov. Sarah Palin, the Republican nominee for the Vice Presidency had this to say:
"The Constitution is made up of articles? Well, shucks, that's just great. I was a journalism major, as you know, so I'm sure I could help contribute some new articles to the Constitution. I'd better start writing some new articles for the Constitution now so that I'm ready on day one."
A spokesperson for Palin later stated that the Governor was on prescription sleeping medications at the time and that her statement should be viewed in light of this fact.