I write music, a lot of it. Whenever I am inspired by something, I tend to whip out my guitar and compose a song. I am, unfortunately, one of these folks who is more comfortable writing music about sadness and betrayal than about the upbeat and inspiring (even though I am NOT like that in real life.)
What that means, of course, is throughout the Bush Administration, I've written a LOT of music. There was a song about how Bush/Cheney had convinced many people (me included, I am embarrassed to admit) to support them after 9/11, but had proven to use that trust to inject poison into this country -- and the song also warned of the next politician who would pick up their mantle. (This is long before McCain came along, but it fits him perfectly.)
Now, the problem with these kinds of songs is that they have to be oblique: You can't say flat out anything about anyone -- Bush and Cheney's name cannot even be in the song. Everything is in metaphor, or hard to immediately place. That way, you get to have the pleasure of a bunch of red-staters, wherever they may be, swaying and singing to a song that attacks their idol. It's great fun.
Then today, I came across an old song I wrote during the Republican convention in 2004. And the difference in emotion then and now was quite inspirational to me...
The 2004 song had originally been inspired by the terrorist action that killed so many Russian schoolchildren that year. The song was about people who hate, and how much damage they cause. Then, before I finished it, I saw the Republican National Convention at Madison Square Garden. I watched as person after person got up to exploit the deaths of Americans on 9/11, seeming not to recognize the horrors of these deaths as anything other than a means of scoring political points -- using people's lives to campaign. Then they would attack and attack their fellow countrymen who had the audacity to support Kerry, spewing endless seas of venom. And all on behalf of a man who became president, at best, by accident.
And so, the day of Bush's convention speech, I wrote this in the bridge of the song about hate:
"And in the Garden
Some proclaim the accidental king.
Chains of sorrow just don't weight them down.
They swear their love
But songs of hate
Are all that they will sing
Dancing underneath the crown.
My calling paints
My actions
The ones I've failed to do
Hearts of Hate
My heart is hate-filled too.''
Wow, what a downer. Reading this reminded me, how hopeless I felt in 2004, how dismayed I was for the future of our country and our countrymen. I believed I could see where we were headed, and had no idea how to stop it.
This lies in such bold relief of where we are today. Hopeless has become hope. Dismay has become delight. Fear of where we are headed has become excitement about our new course.
Somehow, remembering how sad and down I was in 2004 has made my feelings this time around all the sweeter. I am so excited...I can't wait until next week.