I want to say something directly to the silly, sad individual who felt it was appropriate to steal my Obama/Biden '08 yard sign last night while I was out trick-or-treating with my two-year-old daughter.
THANK YOU!
Thank you for showing your true colors, but more importantly, thank you for making it easier for me to justify leaving it all on the road these last 96 hours.
Hopefully, your actions will have inspired the phone call I make from Texas to Ohio or Florida that will convince that one extra voter to touch the screen for Barack Obama and Joe Biden next Tuesday.
Thank you for making your political preference known when you stole my sign, but conveniently ignored the McCain/Palin sign in my next door neighbor's yard. At least now I know it wasn't simply some punk teenager pulling a Halloween prank.
Sure, yard sign theft may not scream out MAJOR EMERGENCY!! (Hell, I write about real-life murders for a living), but it is a crime. Albeit, lily-livered and, as House Minority Leader John Boehner would say, "chicken shit," but a crime nonetheless.
You will not supress my freedom of speech!
In fact, all you did was make me even more determined to have my voice heard by even more people. Instead of merely going out and getting another Obama/Biden yard sign which will only be seen by maybe one hundred more people at most in the next few days, I've decided to expand my reach.
Thank you!
I finally decided to get off my lazy ass and make phone calls on behalf of Barack Obama. No more excuses. No more limiting myself to yard signs and bumper stickers. No, sirree. I decided to volunteer and phone bank today and, boy, am I ever glad I did. I made nearly 100 calls, with the majority of them going to undecided voters in such key swing states as Ohio, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Arizona. I believe that I was able to convince quite a few of them to finally choose Barack Obama.
So, thank you!
Hopefully, your juvenile, asinine, and criminal behavior will be the determining factor in your candidate losing votes in key states where he is trying to salvage as many electoral votes as possible.
I hope you had a good laugh last night. Enjoy it while you can.
Me, I'm getting up two hours earlier tomorrow and making even more phone calls for Barack Obama. (Oh goodie, I also get an extra hour thanks to daylight savings!)
And I will do the same thing on Monday. And also Tuesday. It's one of the joys of being a writer -- I get to make my own hours and do whatever the hell I want, whenever I want.
And I want to help Barack Obama get elected president in 2008 and with your help, I might just make that happen.
Thank you!
No, seriously. Thank you!
Thanks for getting on my lawn.