I am an active Mormon not living in California and this is my first post on DailyKos.
As I am writing this, none of us really knows whether Prop 8 will pass or fail tonight in California. As the majority of the attention on the major national news networks (and the blogs) will be focused on the intensely exciting Presidential race, as well as the Senate and House results, I do not anticipate knowing the result of Prop 8 until early in the morning or sometime on Nov. 5. But I know how this ends....
...it ends in tears. Whether Prop 8 passes or not, for me, the damage has already been done. So as presumptuous as it may sound, this is my very public apology, on behalf of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, for whatever pain has been caused by the Yes on 8 campaign, particularly by the Church's involvement in it.
When my more liberal Mormon friends and I gather in dark corners to discuss politics, the subject often turns to how much we feel like we occupy a perpetual no-man's land. Other Mormons don't trust us because we aren't good, conforming red-state Utahns like they are. Other liberals don't like us because we have certain religious views and participate actively (including donating money) to an organization that seems so bent on political conservatism.
The disaster that has become Prop 8 and the Yes on 8 campaign has only exacerbated the issue. While it may not get as much attention in the media, from anecdotal reports and personal experiences, the Yes on 8 campaign is ripping apart the fabric of Mormonism in California and elsewhere. Longtime members are resigning in protest, families are divided, and yet other members have stopped attending weekly meetings for fear of being offending by the anti-gay marriage rhetoric.
For my own part, not even living in California, I don't know if a gay person will ever trust me again when they find out I am Mormon, knowing the damage that was done to their rights in my name, and I weep for the theft of these friendships. Furthermore, my relationship with the Church has likely been irreparably damaged by its determined involvement in Yes on 8. Never once has the Church asked me to become so personally and financially involved in efforts to feed the hungry, tend the sick, clothe the naked, and shelter the homeless. But when two people of the same sex love each other, want to share their lives and get married, then of course my wallet must be pried open.
More painful still than this symbolic slight has been the damage to personal relationships, even those eternal marriages that Mormons hold so dear. I am sure it is a pain that is reproduced silently in hundreds and thousands of LDS homes across the country. When I hear my friends, neighbors, relatives, and even my own spouse, speak in a derogatory and discriminatory fashion about homosexuals, I feel as if my "home" has been ripped out from under me. It is a tragedy to feel like a stranger in your own home and marriage, but it is more tragic still to know that the future of these relationships depends on your keeping quiet about your support for gay marriage.
So this is my clumsy and inarticulate apology for Yes on 8. Within the Church, there are those of us who are still carrying the torch for our gay and lesbian friends. For you progressives and liberals out there reading DailyKos, "pray" for us.