I didn't sleep well. I had nightmares all night long.
I may never sleep well again, because the nightmare has come true.
Let's get something clear, here. 51% of Californians voted to take away my rights yesterday.
They took away my rights yesterday.
Do you get it?
There's a precedent now, folks. And if some group of people hates a group you belong to badly enough, and raises enough money, and stirs up enough hate, they can take your rights away now too.
Never in American history has a group had its rights recognized and then taken away by a majority vote. Never. We've had rights denied to us before they were recognized - blacks have, women have, gays have - but this is a first. Saying that our rights have been taken away elsewhere is not true. They've been denied, yes, but they were never granted first and then rescinded. This is a first. And it sets a precedent.
Someone said in a comment thread elsediary that this is a "blessing in disguise." You know what? You do NOT want to say that to me or any other queer whose rights were taken away yesterday.
The Democratic party in California and elsewhere is about to lose quite a bit of its constituency if this is not IMMEDIATELY addressed by the new administration.
I will not vote for any Democrat in the next election unless progress for my rights has been made by that time. I've had it. I'm tired of being lied to and used and told to go sit in the back of the bus like a good little second-class queer.
There is no joy in yesterday's results for me. None. So you go have your little Obama victory parties and ignore the fact that yesterday the most liberal state in the union voted to codify discrimination into its constitution and effectively rip up my marriage certificate like it was so much trash. Ignore the fact that this was a precedent-setting case and now we can take away ANYONE's rights simply by voting on them.
But don't you EVER tell me that this is a blessing in disguise.
Don't do that. Not if you want my support for your causes in the future.
Don't tell me to move to Massachusetts or one of the other Northeastern states that's recognized my rights. I have family here. My father is dying of cancer. My mother lives here with her partner. My children are here. I cannot just pick up and move, and it's both cavalier and stupid to tell me to.
Oh, and don't EVER again try to tell me that the black demographic is not overwhelmingly homophobic. 70% of all black voters in this state voted against my rights. So if you're in the other 30% of that demographic, I'm sorry you're associated with such mean-spirited people, but it's going to be very damn hard for me to forget that it was Obama's win that brought out the group that killed my rights at the polls.
Same goes for Mormons and Catholics. If you're part of these groups, I'm going to have real trouble trusting you for a while. Maybe when the progressive minorities in those churches take them over and force the bigots out in a very public way, I'll be able to trust Mormons and Catholics again, but not before.
Here's how to get me to trust you again and to support your causes: Make my rights a priority, the way that Democrats made black rights a priority in the 1960s. Show me that I'm not just a vote you use to get what you want. Help me get what I NEED from this state and this nation and this President.
My faith in people has been shattered by this result. I can't even cheer that Obama got into the White House, because his voters helped take my rights away. And the kicker is, he didn't need the kind of turnout he got in California in order to win.
All those of you who told me that it was more important to get Obama elected than to stop Proposition 8, you were wrong. He would have been elected handily in California. Easily. But you ignored the fact that Prop 8 needed to be beaten down and stopped. And now I'm paying the price.
Sorry. There's no joy for me this morning. And there probably won't be for a long, long time.