I read a diary earlier by an angry Kossack that moved me regarding prop 8 and Obama's response, or lack there of to it. I had originally linked to it as well as directed this to the author, not to pick a fight...I just honestly wanted her to read what I had to say. But I have been corrected by others who write more frequently than I that it was inappropriate to do so. Please accept my apologies...I meant no harm. So I have edited those things out. I still hope this finds the author in question because I was moved by what she said. Sorry for screwing up with the rules.
I am a member of a unique group...a white, straight, Christian male. The reason this is unique is because I honestly have no idea what it feels like to be the victim of institutional, or status quo discrimination. In my life, I have never been told that it was wrong to be who I am...that I was breaking Man’s law or God’s law by living my life the way it felt natural to do so. I haven’t given that fact a hell of a lot of thought most of my life...it is the only way I’ve ever known things to be. But as I get older I realize more and more what great hand I was dealt in life...and how many advantages have been handed to me that I have taken for granted...and some that maybe I didn’t earn, but also didn’t notice because it was common place to be given second chances and not penalized heavily for mediocrity. It is a fact...all my life I have been given every chance, every opportunity, and every degree of latitude to succeed at whatever I tried. That doesn’t discount the impact of my hard work in my victories or my complacency and carelessness in my defeats...but to ignore that the deck was stacked in my favor would be wrong. It is in this context that I am so moved by the election of Obama, and the struggle for equality that you and the rest of the Gay/Lesbian community are currently entrenched in. Let me say unequivocally....the passage of Prop 8 is an embarrassment to our society and culture, and I am disgusted that it was even proposed, let alone voted through.
I found your attacks on Senator Obama to be interesting. I have to say that I basically agree with most of your detractors that this wasn’t an issue to be brought to the front of the national stage at this time with the house on fire, and that it wasn’t Obama’s fault that it passed. However, as someone who has never had my basic human condition legislated against, I can only imagine how disappointing it would be to have the leader I support throw a rhetorical bone to those who irrationally want to take my rights away. The term "Civil Unions" repulses me. It sounds like something two people who want to open a business together do....certainly not what two people who love one another and want to build a life and maybe a family together do. I have long advocated the notion of making ALL non-religious marriages "Civil Unions" so that straight people can experience utter joy of being "Civilly United" rather than married. It may be a necessary temporary bridge to true equality, but it doesn’t sit any better with me than the stories of the old "Separate but Equal" bullshit does. What happened in Prop 8 though, was far worse than the battle over semantics...it was legislated bigotry of the worst kind.
However, here we are, and while we’re moving in the right direction culturally, the majority of our population is still not ready to accept gay marriage...even though it in no way threatens anybody. I find that to be just as sad and infuriating as you do, but it is a fact. And I am sitting here with nothing to say to you but, "I’m sorry." The fact is, your struggle will likely be a lower priority than others by government leaders for a while...and as much as I care about it, if I am forced to choose between universal health care and gay marriage, I’ll choose universal health care. But I LONG for the day when we will have both, and that having both will be the new status quo.
I’m so sorry for what I am sure has been more than one insult to your intelligence. I have no doubt from your elegant writing and life experience that I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. And while I disagree with your assessment of the positive impact Barack Obama may have been able to have on Prop 8, and fully agree with the negative impact that his loud and staunch opposition to it would likely have had on the general election and possibly countless other important issues that must be addressed, I truly admire you for the passion of your convictions and the courage to write that piece at this time in a place you knew you would likely find nothing but hostility for it. I don’t have a good answer or response to you other than to say you and your proud brothers and sisters in the fight for equal protection under the law got screwed this time, and it won’t probably be the last time....even by the "good guys". I can only say as a student of American History that while it is Harry Truman & Lyndon Johnson & other famous white men who are credited with the big changes, they were nothing but politicians who were ultimately FORCED by the people who elected them and a title wave of common decency to make those changes.
Great leaders are made by great societies. What happened yesterday in California was a tragic short term victory for the forces of control and disempowerment. But I know that I can count on you and your army of friends to keep up the good fight so that in the long term they don’t get to win.
There was only one part of Obama’s speech last night that I disagreed with...when he spoke of our founder’s dream of perfecting our union. I believe the founders knew we would never be perfect....only that we should always strive to become more perfect. We have formed a more perfect union with yesterday’s election than we had before....and with your help, winning over the population one compassionate human being at a time, we will see the day when we form an even more perfect union where Gays and Lesbians are treated with the same dignity and respect as everyone else. Thanks so much for sharing your frustration and indignation with us...you’ve earned the right. Now, I hope we can count on your continued support to rebuild this nation’s principal that all are created equal. With love and respect,
Steve