San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk was assassinated thirty years ago this month. Milk made history by becoming one of the first openly gay elected officials in this country. His election brought the struggle for gay rights to national prominence. Milk was gunned down by a homophobic fellow supervisor named Dan White, who was then acquitted of the crime although there was no doubt he'd committed it.
It is indeed ironic that thirty years to the month after Milk's assassination, the voters of the state of California have chosen to write discrimination against gay people into the California constitution. Some of the comments here on this site regarding the passage of Proposition 8 made me recall the wisdom of Harvey Milk.
As a gay man, I've been struck by the indifference and, in some instances, hostility that some commenters on this "progressive" blog have to the issue of gay marriage rights. Some commenters have denigrated the importance of our community's struggle, placing it lower on the hierarchy than other civil rights issues. Some have taken umbrage at us for comparing our fight to the civil rights movement. And a few have even suggested that being gay is a "choice" or that gay people have the luxury of avoiding discrimination by simply refusing to disclose their sexual orientation.
Such comments reveal a deep ignorance about both the nature of homosexuality and the corrosive psychological effects of being in the closet. I am saddened that I should have to explain such basic concepts to my fellow liberals. But for the record, being gay is not a "choice." (To straight people who may doubt this, I ask you to identify the date on which you made the decision between heterosexuality and homosexuality. And what criteria did you use in making the decision?) Nor is remaining in the closet an option. The closet is homophobia's ultimate achievement -- a place of shame where gays must hide their true natures, a veil of secrecy that divides gay people from one another and keeps us from unity. How would you feel if you were forced to hide the identity of your spouse? Do you think you could maintain complete silence about so fundamental an aspect of you life day in and day out? Do you understand the toll that takes on one's psyche? Reading through some of the threads devoted to Proposition 8, I realized that there are a good number of liberal straight people who simply "don't get it."
Which led me to recall the wisdom of Harvey Milk. In a speech he delivered to the gay caucus of the California Democratic Council on March 10, 1978, Milk explained:
"why it is important that gay people run for office and that gay people get elected. . . . There's a major reason why. . . . Y'see right now, there's a controversy going on in this convention about the governor. Is he speaking out enough? Is he strong enough for gay rights? . . . Some people are satisfied and some people are not.
*"You see there is a major difference -- and it remains a vital difference -- between a friend and a gay person, a friend in office and a gay person in office. . . . It's not enough anymore just to have friends represent us. No matter how good that friend may be."*
To my gay brothers and sisters here on DK, I urge you to read and remember Milk's words. Only we can truly understand our struggle. Straight people do not and cannot walk in our shoes. And in the final analysis, they lack a personal stake in this fight. If what I read here is in any way representative, it should remind us all that, ultimately, this fight is up to us. If we are to prevail, it will require more intensive and more sustained engagement from our community. No one will do it if we don't. Of course, we must educate and make alliances with people of good will, but we must always remember how easy it is for them to be indifferent to the issues facing our community.
To those in the LGBT community who think I'm being harsh or pessimistic, ask yourselves how it is that deep blue California -- a state that Obama carried by some 20 points, a state with two Democratic senators and an overwhelmingly Democratic congressional delegation -- should have passed this initiative. The answer is because vast numbers of Democratic voters supported it.
So it is up to us to fight back and to fight back hard. No one is going to do it for us.
Finally, thanks for reading my diary.
Updating to note that I don't want to be understood as saying that gays don't need straight allies in this fight. My diary is a plea for greater self-reliance and commitment by our own community. If the Prop. 8 fight has shown us anything, it's that we can't be certain of anyone's support.
Update: Thanks for rescuing my diary! And thanks for all of the thoughtful comments.