Many of us (I know it's not just me) can't stop laughing at the misguided awesome voter who wrote in "Lizard People" for President (and possibly other offices) in what may prove a pivotal vote in the Minnesota Senate race between Norm Coleman and Al Franken.
In very few if any places in this country do write-in votes "count" if the candidate has not filed as a write-in candidate.
However, many election offices have released some information on write-in votes. Beyond the usual fare of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck, the PUMAS for Hillary Clinton, and the unhinged freedom-lovers for R0n P4v1, there were some other hilarious write-in votes.
More below the fold.
Note: Though this was from 2004, I believe that the fact that we have a snapshot of the ballot merits it being posted:
By the way, I would urge not to go that link if you have children in the room or don't want to have nightmares.
In Martin County Florida
In the race for sheriff, in which Sheriff Robert Crowder was going up against a write-in candidate, one voter wanted "a Democrat." right on, brother!
One voter wanted "no women" in any office, while another simply wrote "impeach Bush."
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Someone wrote in ousted Congressman Tim Mahoney’s name for sheriff. It would have been funnier if they'd written in Mark Foley
In Connecticut
One write-in ballot seemed to straddle both the real and fictitious. A Naugatuck resident voted for someone named "Darth Nader." Nice sentiment
In Walker County, Alabama, the write-in isn't so funny as much as was his reaction:
Odom said one area resident gets at least one vote during most local elections. "We always have the Homer Estes write-in vote," she said. "Homer always gets a write-in."
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"I think people are silly to write peoples’ names in. All that does is put pressure on the poll workers," Estes said. "They only get 100 dollars and they stay there 12, 14, 15 hours just doing silly stuff like that.
Estes also said the practice is insulting to veterans like himself who fought to preserve the freedom to vote.
Mormons for Multiple Wife Choice Mitt swung Salt Lake County to us
"There were actually 3,718 write-in votes," Swensen said.
Only 20 of those votes were counted for official write-ins. "Sometimes people write in 'Mickey Mouse,' and we don't count those," Swensen added.
If less than 300 of the write-in votes for Romney had been changed to votes for McCain, McCain would have won the vote in Salt Lake County.
Anyone who votes for alcohol is a good man (or woman):
Also getting votes throughout the state was Ron Paul, who had 59. A couple of comedians, literally, also received votes -- Bill Cosby and Stephen Colbert. Then there were just the absurd -- Captain Morgan (the rum).
Columbus, GA had some doozies
Elmo, Pluto, Toto, Goofy, Garfield, Donald Duck, Daffy Duck, Daisy Duck, Daisy Duke, Cooter, Jack the Ripper, Charlie Brown, Big Bird, Tweety Bird, Elmer Fudd, Snoopy, Snagglepuss, Satan, Popeye, Miss Piggy, Pee-wee Herman, Alfred E. Neuman, Mr. Potato Head, Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, Rubberman, Fozzie Bear, Yogi Bear, Pooh Bear and Stephen Colbert.
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Art Vandelay, Bob Sacamano and Jackie Chiles to animated characters like SpongeBob SquarePants, Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Hank Hill, Tony the Tiger, Scooby-Doo and ManBearPig from Comedy Central's "South Park."'
"Jim Bean" repeatedly was written in, as if some were too drunk to copy "Jim Beam" off the bottle.
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Joe the Plumber, Marilyn Monroe, Denzel Washington, Raymond Burr, Robert De Niro, Russell Crowe, Vladimir Putin, Timothy Leary, Chuck Norris, Morris Day, Rush Limbaugh, Charles Manson, Donald Trump, Jimmy Carter, Nick Nolte, Judge Judy, Angela Lansbury, Charles Barkley, Carol Burnett, Jack Kerouac, Clint Eastwood, John Lennon, Bob Marley, Michael Jackson, Ross Perot, Sarah Palin, Abraham Lincoln, Adolf Hitler, Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong.
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Others wrote in Bubba, Captain America, Darth Vader, James Bond, Jimi Hendrix, John the Baptist, Piglet, Santa, Smokey Bear, Oprah, Willie Nelson, Tom Petty, Luke Skywalker, "I'll do it," "I don't care," and "Why if no one has applied."
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Aristotle, Socrates or Machiavelli. Others used it to voice objections: "Dear God anyone else"; "Someone smarter"; "Someone who will show up 4 work"; "Anybody less pompous."
Other expressions included "School is out forever," "I C Ded People," and "Yo Mama,"
Apparently there were some real "wealth-spreaders" voting:
Overheard at the Venable School voting precinct, circa 12:30pm:
Voter 1: "Did you actually vote for Karl Marx?"
Voter 2: "Yeah!"
Voter 1: "Is that with a 'C' or a 'K'?"
Finally, Duval County, Florida released the entire list of write-in votes, most of which follows.
Votes
234 HILARY CLINTON
174 RON PAUL
23 NONE OF THE ABOVE
23 JESUS
21 MIKE HUCKABEE
14 MITT ROMNEY
8 COLIN POWELL
6 GOD
6 LEFT BLANK
5 UNDECIDED
4 AL GORE
4 BISHOP V.M. MCLAUGHLEN
4 FRED THOMPSON
4 OBAMA
4 RUDY GIULLIANI
4 STEVEN COLBERT
3 DONALD DUCK
3 DONALD FOY
3 MICKEY MOUSE
3 T. BOONE PICKENS
2 BILL COSBY
2 BILL McMILLON
2 BILL NYE
2 CHUCK NORRIS
2 CONDOLEEZA RICE
2 FRANK HARDEN
2 FRANKLIN GRAHAM
2 LOU DOBBS
2 PAGO POSSUM
2 SARAH PALIN
2 SEANATOR BROWNBACK
2 GARY BENZENBERG
2 GEORGE W BUSH
2 JOHN EDWARDS
2 LEE GODDARD
2 TIM TEBOW
Among those getting a single vote: Abstain, Against All, Alfred E. Newman, Bill Clinton, Bill O'Riely, Bill Richardson, Bobby Bowden, Bugs Bunny, May the best man win, Me, Morgan Freeman, Mr. Bill, Newt Gingwrich, None (Anarchy), Oprah, Pat Buchannan, Ralph Nader, Hilary Bush, Homer Simpson, Jay Plotkin, Jimmy Carter, Joe the Plumber, John Doe, Lieberman, Theodore Roosevelt, They Both Suck '08, Tiger Woods, Tommy Chong, Truman, Weird Al Yancovic, William Crosby and Willie Nelson.
But the best vote in Duval County (one that may rival Lizard People)? Twice Cooked Pork $4.95