I'm still adjusting to life outside of a "sexy" state. I grew up in the electoral wet dream of Florida. That state is such a tease for progressives. It's always just around the corner for change, with an influx of new yorkers, new generation of cubans and booming urban bastions.
I was also raised in the Empire State, a land often assumed to be more progressive than it actually is, but nevertheless a blue wonderland in comparison to others. It's electoral votes, though diminishing, is still nothing to sneeze at. We're the land of New York Friggin City for cryin' out loud. The birthplace of the NAACP and Stonewall. We're the state that has the U.S.'s first blind governor, not to mention 1 of only 3 black governors in U.S. history.
Now, in my finals years of college, I find myself dating the constantly used and abused "non sexy" land of Washington D.C. My district is very close to marriage equality, with a vote expected to come up in our D.C. council in as little as 2 months. There are other places, states not named California or New Jersey, where the progress on marriage equality is not yet near critical mass like in D.C., but rather there is a slow, uphill, yet steady climb to equality.
Yes, even now, in post prop-8 world, we are winning the non-sexy states. Case and point. Iowa.
Granted, Iowa can be pretty sexy say every 4 years, but post-election it has rejoined ranks with the non-sexy states.
Two weeks before the Iowa Supreme Court hears arguments in a challenge to the state’s ban on same-sex marriage, a new poll indicates a majority of people in the state support gay couples, but are divided on whether they should be allowed to marry or have civil unions.
The University of Iowa poll found that 28.1 percent of those surveyed support same-sex marriage, while another 30.2 percent support civil unions, but not marriage. A third of those questioned oppose any recognition of same-sex couples, with about 10 percent having no opinion or refusing to answer.
This is good. Of course it could be better. But this is a great place to be. Day by day, civil union supporters are increasingly exposed to stories like that of Laurel Hester. Laurel Hester can best speak for herself:
Laurel Hester is the subject of a documentary titled "Freeheld":
At dramatic moments in the documentary, including a scene in which Lieutenant Hester, who lived in Point Pleasant, appears in a wheelchair at a freeholders’ meeting to ask that her pension be transferred to Ms. Andree, sobs could be heard in the audience.
"It was a tough movie to watch," said Sam Joseph, 49, who lives in South Orange. "I’ve been with my partner for 30 years and it’s always been an issue: What if one of us get sick?"
None of the five Ocean County freeholders, who ultimately voted to extend benefits to same-sex couples, were at the screening.
We're telling our stories. Propositions can be passed, constitutions amended, legislatures capitulate, but out voices only grow stronger. When one asks "where is the movement for marriage equality", one only has to measure the hoarseness of their own voice. That will tell you the state of our movement.
Iowa is a sign of the progress we have made. We have a broad base of support to work from. After generations of struggle we have supporters scattered across the political spectrum and, combined, they are the majority. Our victories in the coming months, years and decades will hinge on pushing our supporters closer to true equality and also reaching out to those current opponents willing to reason and debate. Our stories are breathtaking and are the best arguments for equal marriage.
Craig Ross, 46, watched the movie with his partner, Richard Cash, 54, for whom he is trying to obtain insurance through his employer, a technology company based in the Midwest.
"I have asked about it, but they don’t recognize civil unions, only marriage," Mr. Ross said.
"I wish this film had a happy ending," Mr. Goldstein shouted to the crowd after the credits rolled. "It does not. Our civil union law is failing; it is not respected like marriage."
Between the showing of the film and the beginning of the Oscar broadcast, Ed Mather, 66, of Morris County, said he was still working for the right to marry his partner of 39 years, the Rev. Robert O. Kriesat, with whom he attended the screening.
"The goal is full marriage rights," he said.
Our path to victory may have begun on the coasts, may have found more direction with prop 8, but it will end in the America we often deride with offensive names, or even worse, forget exist.
It will happen with Small Town, Gay Bars, with LGBT people of faith and many others.
Our stories exist not just in blue states, but in every every town, state and region in America.