A few days ago, our favorite gay sex-advice columnist, Dan Savage presented a great idea. You can order a free copy of The Book Of Mormon and it will be hand-delivered to your door by actual Mormons.
On November 21st, Dan Savage posted this on his blog:
"Wouldn't it be sad if the Mormons spent all their money sending out free copies of their book, and didn't have any more money to harass gay people?" writes Slog tipper Zoe. Yes, Zoe, that sounds marvelous.
So I can't guarantee this will work, but I just went and signed up for my free doorstop—err, Book o' Mormon—at Mormon.org, and my zip code wasn't a required field, but my address and phone number were (this suggests the Mormons don't plan to mail a package but they do want a gay dude's number). And when I finished filling out the form, it gave this message:
"Thank you for requesting the Book of Mormon from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You should be contacted by missionaries in a few days."
Oh, sweet Joseph Smith prancing about in body drawers: They are sending Mormons to my house! And if you sign up, they will probably send real, live, magical-underpanted Mormons to your house, too! So, if all goes well, I'll get to recycle a copy of god's word and have a couple strapping "elders" in my living room, where I can turn the tables for once—holding Mormons as a captive audience, attempting to convert them to secularism, lecturing them for their church's insufferable bigotry, pushing them to take shots of tequila, and reading them passages from The Stranger—instead of me being stuck listening to their drivel.
I'm the kind of atheist that always invites the evangelists who knock on my door inside my home for a "rousing discussion." So the proposition that I could request their presence while at the same time wasting their time and resources was something I just could not pass up.
For whatever reason, I didn't get around to following through with it at the time but on Monday, Dan Savage posted an update with verification by another reader that it works as described. So on Monday, I immediately signed up and patiently awaited their arrival. It took a couple of days but lo-and-behold, just minutes ago, I was surprised by a knock on the door. I was greeted by 3 young Mormon women procuring my free Book of 19th Century LiesMormon. They wanted me to come to their services, but I declined and offered my bemused surprise that they would send 3 of their members to personally deliver their glorious tome. I was tempted to be brutally honest and tell them that I was only wasting their time and money, but I enjoyed the ruse too much.
So if you want to do your small part on getting back at the Mormons for interfering matters that aren't their business I suggest you sign up. You know you want to.