In a press release this morning, timed to follow her appearance on Fox News Sunday, Condoleezza Rice announced her post-January career aspirations: She plans to hit the road with a musical-comedy lounge act.
"Ever since my testimony to the 9/11 commission, people have been suggesting that I consider retiring from government service and go on the road with a stand-up routine. I never really took them seriously. But then, as I was playing the concerto for the queen last week, it suddenly hit me: I'm still young enough, and talented enough, that I could be the next Steve Allen."
(More on Condi's next chapter below)
Some details remain to be ironed out, but the 90 minute show is expected to mix contemporary piano performances, including original compositions, some accompanied by singing, all interspersed with sharp comedy monologues.
"It will be a little bit Liberace, a little bit Tom Lehrer (though from a neo-conservative perspective) and a little bit Celine -- plus Ms. Rice will deploy her world-renown tap-dancing skills."
She previewed her act on Fox News Sunday today. An excerpt:
"And I still believe that the overthrow of Saddam Hussein is going to turn out to be a great strategic achievement, not just for the Bush administration, but for the United States of America [laughter]...
"You now have a young democratic, multi-ethnic, multi-confessional Iraq [laughter] that has just signed an historic agreement with the United States establishing a long-term relationship as well as a strategic forces agreement to allow American forces to help them finish the job [building laughter], and is going to be friendly to the United States [howling laughter, applause]."
"I'll be here all week - but not much longer!"
She then changed the tone by breaking into what some consider to be her signature song, Misty, with a sentimental dedication to "Number 43" as the show went into commercial break.
Look at me,
I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree
And I feel like I'm clinging to a cloud
I can't understand...
The Best Move?
Not everyone is convinced that this is a positive career move for Rice. Said one notable pundit on the condition of anonymity, "Its clear that her act wears thin pretty quickly. She'll have trouble holding a stage not owned by her very narrow circle of admirers. For years Condi's been George W. Bush's answer to Susan Alexander in Citizen Kane."
However, others think the lounge act is a brilliant career move. Observed one pundit, "When Rice played for the queen, some wags said that Rice is a cabinet official who is also modernity's most notable amateur musician. I think in the long term, though, she'll most likely be remembered as a musician who was history's most notable amateur at national security and foreign policy."
Rice will open her one-woman show in Las Vegas (following in the footsteps of Ronald Reagan), and then has dates scheduled in Salt Lake City, Boise, and Jackson (possibly including an ice-capades special) before starting what she hopes will be an extended run in Branson, Missouri, performing for the nostalgia set.