It's not giving I object to, it's mindless consumerism. Shopping is painful. Maybe - just maybe - it won't hurt so bad if we shop like liberals. You know: spend our scant dollars in sync with our progressive values.
So, I've tried to take progressive ideals and convert them into gifts that people actually want. But even if they don't want them, these gifts do some good nonetheless. Well, except this first one - but it's FREE, so how much harm can it do? Ok that makes no sense. But I still think a cubed Obama belongs on your Christmas tree.
Don't click Obama in the eye or you're getting rocks for Christmas:
Actual gifts below the fold....
To spare the landfills, I'm a fan of restaurant gift certificates. The more socially responsible the restaurant, the better. If you don't know a worthy locally owned restaurant - find a local organic or slow food restaurant. Let's keep restaurant staff employed in January.
:: STUFF JUST TO PISS OFF SARAH PALIN ::
Support the Alaska Natural History Association as they tirelessly fight for the preservation of Alaska's wild. And, they sell the coolest kid's books EVER:
Titles L->R:
$12.95 Lootas, Little Wave Eater - An Orphaned Sea Otter's Story
$16.99 Akiak, An unforgettable children's story of a dog with a hero's heart
$14.95 Winter Patrol - Denali by Dog Sled (DVD)
Support the World Wildlife Foundation
by adopting a gray wolf or a polar bear and gift the plush toy, $25-$250:
Fermenting Revolution, How to Drink Beer and Save the World, $17.95:
Yeah yeah, drink beer, save planet; GREAT, right?
But there's MORE! (cue echo chamber and strobe lights) Buy this book through Natural Resources Defense Council and benefit an organization that pisses off Sarah Palin. Triple whammie! (cue confetti and balloons)
Unconvinced that beer is the answer?
Then listen to the Irish drinking song No one's as Irish as Ba'Rack O'Bama:
See? Clearly, beer inspires greatness. Here's a few eco-conscious beers to begin your quest to save the planet: Join the Organic Beer Club or order a case of Bison Brew Chocolate Stout. A few worthy wines include Badger Mountain's 2007 Organic Riesling or 2006 Cooper Mountain Cooper Hill Pinot Noir
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:: HABITAT FOR HUMANITY GIFT SHOP ::
Quality stuff from Habitat For Humanity Giftshop, Apx $20 ea:
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:: SUPPORT HOWARD DEAN ACTIVISM ::
Looking at cell phones?
A wireless cell phone plan that benefits Howard Dean's grassroots organization.
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:: SUPPORT INDEPENDENT ARTISTS FOR OBAMA ::
Handmade Obama headlines leather bag, $120.:
Obama Christmas Ornaments, $8-$15:
Yes, that's an Obama paper towel holder. Don't ask. $28.95:
Historic Obama posters by small-time graphic artists, $17.95-$39.95:
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:: SUPPORT ART MUSEUMS ::
Witty sky umbrella from MOMA, $48.00:
An uber-trendy Ramen Noodle Spork adds irony to eating cheapest food in America.
Also from MOMA, $24.00:
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:: ENVIRONMENTAL STUFF FOR ALL AGES ::
From one of many etsy.com artists trying to survive, 2 for $10.00:
Plantable Calendar
When a month passes by, plant the page itself and watch the wildflowers grow, $24.99:
Solar Flashlight from BOGO - buy one, and they give one away to someone without light. Solar Panel lasts up to 20 years, charges in 8 hours, and provides 4-5 hours of illumination, $39.00 :
Ten Thousand Villages adorable Peruvian bus ornament, $8.00:
Home Soda Maker $79-$200
Now, this is my kind of gift. Why? I want off the recycling merry-go-round. I love sparkling water, but I really try not to buy plastics. This is the cure for my liberal guilt:
(Here's a few $30. off coupon codes for Soda Club)
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Artwork to benefit The AIDS Community Research Initiative of America (ACRIA):
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Please - everyone, add your progressive gift ideas in the comments below.
Merry Christmas, Kossaks!