Note: I'm utterly furious at Lucas Davenport and the Minnesota canvassing board. The Lizard People ballot was ruled an overvote. I think we should feed them all directly to Diana, though I'd be satisfied with requiring them to listen to David Icke's theories for, say, 250 hours.
The Minnesota race aside, Massachusetts has finally released its official results, and assuming I typed everything into my spreadsheet correctly, those are the final results.
Barack Obama: 69,457,167
John McCain: 59,935,409
The numbers for the other candidates aren't necessarily fixed yet.
Here's what I have for the 6 third-party candidates to get at least 10,000 votes
Darth Nader: 738,266
Bob Barr: 523,686
Chuck Baldwin: 198,427
Cynthia McKinney: 161,458
Alan Keyes: 47,727
Ron Paul: 39,619
Below the fold, a look at Anne Arundel County, Maryland's write-in votes.
Link to the file containing all of them
In addition to separating them by office, I'm separating them by category (votes for president are italicized):
First of all, the utterly awesome category. This is the category, that "Lizard People", "Jack Me Offe" and "Jeshua Ha Meshiac" all fall into.
Utterly Awesome/Miscellaneous
CRUNCHY, CTHULHU, FUCK THE POLICE, INDEPENT, JELLO BIAFRA / ZOMBIE WESLEY WILLIS, JOE THE PLUMBER OR PEROT, MR. BRITCHES III, REV. JEREMIAH WRIGHT (yes, Jeremiah got a vote!!!!!!!!!! Woo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), SPACE, ABSOLUTELY NO CONFIDENCE, TIME FOR A CHANGE, WRITEIN (yes, someone actually wrote that in), ANYONE WHO IS NOT ALREADY IN CONGRESS, DE LOVELY, I.P. FREELY, KODOS (Don't blame him! He voted for Kodos!), MASHED POTATOS, LOVE,N0 BAILOUT, RICK ASTLEY (Hey, his platform was great! He's never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and hurt you!), SALAD FINGERS, NO VOTE, SOMEONE WHO DID NOT VOTE FOR BAILOUT, AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA (this was typed in on a touch-screen keyboard), `STASH, CAROOM, ADSF (also typed on a computer; by a dyslexic, I guess), ANYONE WITH HAIR, ASSH0LE, BRAN, BROOMSTICK, CAMPAIN MORE, CHIMP, CONSERVATIVE, D. SANCHEZ, DO NOT CARE, DONT KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THESE PEOPLE, FART, FUDMF, GOOD ENOUG, HALLMARK, HAM SANDWICH, HYDRA, L0NEY, MARK FOLEY, MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING, MRS FAIR/HONEST, MY ASS, MY BALLS, MY DOG JAKE, MY FEET HURT, MY MOM, NEED ANOTHER CANADATE, NEW PERSON, NOT FUCKING WACHS, NOT SURE WHO IS THIS JUDGE. CHOOSE NOT TO ANSWER, NOT THE ONLY PERSON ON THE BALLET, PASCAL, THE RIGHT PERSON QUALIFIED FOR THE JOB, SYM0REBUTTS, THE THIRD OPTION, TOM THOMB, VIOLENT J, WHERE'S THE CHOICE, XXX, XYZ, YELLOW POWER RANGER, WILMA FINGERDOO (can't be a real name, can it?) WINSTON POOPHAT (that can't be a real name, can it?),YOUR MOM, RICK JAMES (Bitch!!!!!), ANY INDEPENDENT JUDGE, SOMEONE WITH A WEBSITE, JOHN LILLARD 111, MATTHEW PHIPPS STEVENS (ME) [way to void your ballot, Dude]
Politician not running for that office (President only)
ARNOLD SCHARTZENEGER, ALBERT ARNOLD GORE, JR., BARBARA MIKULSKI, BILL CLINTON, CHARLES DE GAULLE, BILL RICHARDSON, HILLARY CLINTON, COLIN POWELL, CONGRESSMAN RON PAUL OF TEXAS, DICK GEPHARDT-PRESIDENT AND HILARY RODHAM CLNTON-VICE PRSIDENT, DR. RON PAUL, DENNIS KUCINICH, FRED THOMPSON AND CLINT EASTWOOD, FRED THOMPSON, EVAN BAYH, HILLARY CLINTON, HILLARY/PALIN, HUCKABEE, JOE ARPAIO (I guess the crazy anti-immigrant racists love him even in Maryland), JESSE VENTURA, JIMMY CARTER, JOHN KASICH, MARK WARNER, MARTIN O'MALLEY, MICHAEL STEELE, MIKE HUCKABEE, MITT ROMNEY, MITT ROMNEY ORRIN HARCH (I guess there are Mormons [who can't spell Senator Hatch's last name] in Maryland; there is that massive temple you see from the Beltway, after all), RON PAUL, PATRICK BUCHANAN, ROBERT ERLICH, RONALD REAGAN, ROSS PEROT, TOM TANCREDO, WESLEY CLARK, NEWT GINGRICH, RUDY GIULIANI (only one person managed to spell it correctly) MICHAEL BLOOMBERG, BILL BRADLEY, THOMAS JEFFERSON, CLARENCE THOMAS, DONALD TRUMP, FARRAKHAN, GEORGE W. BUSH, IDI AMIN, OLIVER WENDEL HOLMES, JR, RUDOLF HESS, STONEWALL JACKSON
Maryland Specific Write-Ins
CALVIN RIPKEN JR, FRANK M. SOBISKI (A retired insurance adjuster who for some reason got a bunch of votes), CHRISTOPHER NELSON [PRES. OF ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE, ANNAPOLIS], EMILY FROM PERS101 AT UMD, SAM KOCH, PUNTER, RAVENS
Miscellaneous Celebrity
BILL COSBY, BILL GATES, BEN STEIN, ELLEN DEGENERES, GLENN BECK, DAVID HASSELHOFF, DICK BUTKIS, HARVEY DENT (P) & BRUCE WAYNE (VP), JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH, JIMMY BUFFETT, JON STEWART, JOSEPH I LIEBERMAN, JUDGE JUDY SHEINLEIN, LOU DOBBS, MILTON FRIEDMAN, ME, PARIS HILTON, STEPHEN T. COLBERT, T. BOONE PICKENS, TED NUGENT, THOMAS SOWELL, TOM BROKAW, WILLIE NELSON, TOMMY CHONG, WILMA MANKILLER, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, MADONNA, MEL BROOKS, MONTY HALL, WILL SMITH THE ACTOR, TINA FEY, ADOLF HITLER, BOB SAGET, BOBA FETT, BOZO THE CLOWN, ELVIS PRESLEY, HOWARD STERN, HULK HOGAN, JAMES JOYCE, JERRY GARICA, JOE BLOW, JOE THE PLUMBER, JOHNWAYNE, KURT COBAIN, MATT DAMON, MICHAEL PHELPS, MIKE DITKA, MILEY CYRUS, VINCE MCMAHON, LEONARD NIMOY
Miscellaneous fictional characters
BRUCE WAYNE, GOD, JACK BAUER, KRAMER, KRIS KRINGLE, MICKEY MOUSE, NEMO, RED POWER RANGER, TOM SAWYER, TIKER BELL, SNOOPY,, MCLOVIN, MICKEY THE MOUSE (perhaps a play on Joe the Plumber), A MONKEY, COOKIE MONSTER, PEDRO (referencing the Vote 4 Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite, no doubt), SPIDERMAN, TOM BRADY, DAFFY DUCK, DONOLD/DUCK, OPTIMUS PRIME, ZIPPY THE PINHEAD, BATMAN, BEALZEBUB, CHARLIE BROWN AND SNOOPY, CITIZEN KANE, COBRA COMMANDER, DARTH VADER, ELMO, HOLDEN CAULFEILD, HOMER SIMPSON, JACK DANIELS, MAGOO, PEDRO VARGAS, SCOOBY DOO, UNCLE SAM, YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, ELMER FUDD