I get anger. I just don't get the importance attributed to him. I don't get the need for our party to mobilize against this man. It just strikes me as an enormous waste of outrage.
Two or three minutes are going by that might have otherwise been a hell of a lot more minor politically speaking. If anybody made this guy's appearance important and symbolic, we did. A few people might have noticed the significance of who he was, but because he is known more for promoting a culture of service and personal morality than one of sexual morality, his attitudes on that count would have been less prominent.
Now they are more prominent. Now, we have forced a confrontation with him on his views. And we've sent a message contrary to our President-Elect's, a message that says that cultural conservatives will be shut out. And that is a bad thing for us.
I understand those who want to return the favor for years of being shut out and discriminated against. I understand those who want to plunge the Republicans into the same abyss of powerlessness that they left us. And I understand those who angrily insist that I am getting soft or betraying my brothers and sisters from the GLBT community. I understand your points and your emotions at the very least.
But I did not join this party nor support this candidate just to see us repeat the mistakes and malfeasances of the party in power before us. The greatest hatred I felt for the Republican party was for it's divisive attitudes, its exploitation of fears and loathing for the sake of enforcing political discipline and gaining power at the expense of the more reasonable people in their party and ours.
The fight against Warren is purely symbolic, purely about trying to send a message to a certain segment of America that they're not welcome. I can understand why people want to shut them out, given all that has happened over the last few decades, but in my mind the conflict itself is everybody's enemy.
I've lived among Republicans and Religious conservatives. I've seen the kindness and goodness they are capable of. If these people are shut out, though, many of them will do what we did: form a vocal, fierce minority opposition. They will disagree with many of the things we disagree with, and more strongly, because they feel that in the face of a obstructive majority, that much more opposition is needed.
And that is not what this country or this party needs. Nor, the GLBT community.
Liberalism works best when people relax, when it's a matter of live and let live. Our instincts tell us we must fight to beat our political opponents, down, but our instincts are wrong. We got to stop thinking like those folks who were shut out, stop thinking like the political victims the Republicans always thought as.
From their Liberal Media myth to their constant promotion of homophobia, the Republicans have portrayed themselves and the cultures they represent as the victims of a vast left-wing conspiracy bent on undermining them. And in case you haven't noticed, becoming actual political minorities once again hasn't stopped them from acting like they've been shut out.
And we, should we be looking for opportunities to play the victim, to make symbolic betrayals out of small, insignificant issues so we can flex our political muscle and demand perfect adherence to our interests? No, we should not. Pressure Obama to take out the DOMA. Use your political capital there. Make rational arguments. Pressure him to keep his commitment on hiring the right people, regardless of who they have consensual sex with or how.
But don't go looking to "hold him accountable" on every minor little issue, or every protest you make will be accorded the status of typical noise. A message sent constantly is a message sent with diminishing returns. Every return to that same well drains that much more meaning from it. It also shows a lack of faith in somebody who has, even before inauguration, done more to equalize the GLBT with the rest of the country than any other president before. An out of the closet Lesbian will serve as a secretary in Obama's cabinet. I'm sure as we get into the lower ranks, we will see more of the same.
If you are to send messages, political messages, don't waste them on minor, ceremonial roles. It both undermines the message and undermines support. It sends the wrong message to those who no longer let their prejudice have such strength that they're unwilling to be in the same party with you. Over time, the anxiety and hatred drummed up by the Republicans and Religious Right will fade, replaced by that ideal outcome: the yawn. Today, many labels are now descriptive which once raised great concern. Once, if blacks moved in, it was "there goes the neighborhood". Now, it's "here comes our neighbor."
I understand people's wish to fight this without restraint. There are times when I'm in a political argument where I'd just as soon let loose, lay them all flat with a tirade that would turn their ears blue. But I don't give in to that impulse. I calm down, hit backspace and delete. And then, I think, and I consider the bigger picture, and then I consider how I might persuade those who don't think just like me.
The game of politics, in my view, is more about drawing people in than fending them off. Our President-Elect won because he didn't waste time and energy trying to be more aggressive than his opponents. He let them do so instead. He let them get pushy, while he remained reasonable. He let them alienate the rest of the country by doubling down on the strongest of his party's views. He instead spoke to politics in a way so Americans other than strong liberals like us could see the merit in his approach. He didn't rely on somebody's hatred of the other side to win. He reminded people that we were all on the same side, convinced them that he was on theirs, on the issues that mattered most, and then on election day, many more Americans were on his.
Rick Warren agrees with Obama on some important things, and so does the flock that follow him. They definitely don't agree with Obama's support of your community, but that's not stopping them from allying themselves with us. Consider that: the homophobia and other cultural differences have been overruled by their other concerns. This is what you want! People change sometimes by degrees. You want them to lay down, if only gradually, the sense that it's an all-important issue to oppose what you do in your personal life with your own body and own consenting partner. You would probably prefer that this prejudice just go away, suddenly, but what would be wrong with it's decline?
Fight for your rights. Fight for your dignity. Fight for those things nobody can blame you for fighting for, the things they hold important to them as well. But don't fight to keep the battle going. This battle only serves those who feed off the anxiety and fear between your cultures. It's a battle that must be left behind, eventually, to be won. America needs many such battles to end, if we are to heal the partisan divisions of years of Republican fearmongering.
Gays and Lesbians won on election day. It's a pity that some consider this minor ceremonial role for one of your opponents an undermining of all that, that a real symbol of progress is obscured by an overblown symbol of uncomfortable compromise. Obama is making good on his promise to heal America's divisions, an act which requires him to deal with people like Rick Warren in good faith. But he's not embracing Rick Warren to embrace his attitudes on sexuality. He's letting the man have that role to demonstrate that his administration will be gracious in its victory, that such differences will no longer divide us.
How long can fear and prejudice stand in the face of such respect, of such acceptance? All throughout the campaign, Obama deprived his opponents of such an easy target. Rather than strike back in kind, Obama won by being the adult in the room, centered, secure in his skin. When he did counterpunch, he counterpunched from positions of strength, and made his policies and his politics understandable and desirable beyond this strongest supporters.
The choice is not between being aggressive or passive, It's between getting people to tear down their walls of their own free will, and trying to lay siege to that wall in a futile attempt to force their destruction.