See my face? This is the face of ignorance. Look at how the brow is a little too slanted, a little too jutting, the eyes too blue and reflect away from the brain what should be going in.
I know nothing about the gay community. So instead of me TELLING you what's good for us and you. I'm going to ASK. But there's a catch. I want something too.
For years I've kept company with gay friends at parties and evening constitutionals. But as I think back to as far as last weekend I don't recall any heavy conversations about the nature of being gay. It always seemed like it would be demeaning...to make gayness the subject of conversation as though Gay is the centerpiece of their whole life. The one time I did bring it up, it was gently pointed out to me from a fellow I only peripherally knew that he preferred not to make it a subject of every conversation.
So we talk about...holy crap...what DO we talk about? Beer. How much we hate the president. Painting. Home renovation. The local economy. We talk about people we know. The Warren thing was mentioned, as though in passing, at the latest shindig, and the subject lasted all of 20 seconds. I got the opinion that between the two male couples who brought it up there was disagreement and the subject was left to pass. I just kept my mouth shut. Which is generally good policy for me because I'm ignorant, you see.
So I don't know the travails and horrors that haunt the GBLT community nearly as well as the people who live it every day. Though I sometimes imagine I do simply because I have regular social interactions with gay and lesbian people. And I bet they also imagine I know the horrors.
But I don't.
I didn't get a good peek into that darkness until this week with all the Warren posts. And I'm sure that's just the tip of the iceberg. I live a different life, and wake up and scramble with my own worries, my children, the medical bills, sudden leaps in property tax that nearly bury us, and a house we can't escape without just abandonment if our last ditch efforts at getting by in this town. I'm not even as conscientious about my own grooming as I once was (feels stubble on face and the scraggly hair) and I'm for sure not as conscientious about all the horrors of the world as I once was.
But I want to be fair to myself and to those who think the Warren pick was a vile but necessary one.
We're not just bigotted idiots chomping at the bit to throw the GBLT community under a bus. That's not what we want. Like you, we're in a panic. Many of us are terrified. And maybe you are too about the same things we're terrified of.
We're terrified about having to make the choice between our children's health and keeping our home. We're terrified that one illness will destroy everything our families have and leave us on the streets. We're terrified because we owe thousands or tens of thousands to a hospital for treatment we needed, or child delivery and our credit has been destroyed and even if we had the money we couldn't get the loan for a car we need to get to work. We're terrified because we know people who have been told by their doctors they could, but won't do any more about their terminal illness because [enter bullshit answer here, but which really means You Don't Have Not Enough Money]. We're terrified because we know people who have gone homeless due to medical expenses and became the subject some twisted teen thrill kill, because homeless and mentally ill apparently means worthless.
We're terrified.
We can't sleep. We're sick with worry every day. We worry about ourselves, our partners, and like many in the BGLT community with kids, we worry about our children.
We saw another attempt at national health care crumble in the 90s because it didn't carry the favor of the Evangelical folks. There wasn't enough outreach, and the Christian Right saw an attempt to strong arm them into something without their confidence.
We're terrified history is repeating itself. We're afraid that help won't be coming after all because it will get derailed because our liberal friends disagree with Obama's method of outreach, his choice of Warren.
We're not just bigots. We're as terrified as you.
We NEED to gain the trust and support of at least a portion of the Christian Conservatives if we're going to get national healtchare passed. That's a fact.
The sad fact is, Christian Conservative usually ALSO means Hate Gay People.
If Warren isn't the proper way to reach out to these folks...what is? It needs to happen fast, before or at the inauguration so Obama can hit the ground running on the first day.
I recognize it's arrogant of many of us, and perhaps even Obama, to tell you what will be good for you or us. So I'm asking, what gesture will reach out to these folks without offending?
IMPORTANT!
Remember. The question isn't "why not Rick Warren?" That's been established. The question is, what can be done to reach out to the evangelicals. We need the trust of this HUGE demographic if we're going to get anything done.