First of all, let me get this out of the way, Bill Maher is one of my favorite comedians, and I'm a complete fanboy of Real Time. This will not be a Bill Maher-bashing diary, and I'm not going to even say he's wrong on anything in particular.
I'm simply going to say he doesn't get it.
On last night's Real Time with Bill Maher, Bill brought up the topic of the Oscars and started talking about Best Picture contender Brokeback Mountain. His description of the film made it very clear that he really had no idea what the movie was about... even though he stated he had seen it.
He said that the movie wasn't a "gay" movie at all, it was just about a couple of regular guys, who were heterosexual for the most part, that just got together once a year to have a little "gay fishing trip sex". He referred to the fact that they were both married with children to support this claim.
That is not the case at all. The movie is actually about two gay men who are both in deep denial, struggling to suppress their homosexuality. They live in a time and place where society is so repressive and confining, that they obscure their true sexual identities and submit to what they believe society expects from them... marriage, children, etc.
When they eventually fight back their inner guilt long enough to find someone of the same sex that arouses these latent feelings and emotions, the internal turmoil this causes inevitably proves destructive to both themselves and everyone around them.
Their guilt is so deep that they initially deny to each other that they are both indeed gay by saying, "you know I ain't queer". Eventually they fall in love, but deep-seated fears and society's pressures make being together impossible. So they settle for meeting in private for week-long "fishing trips" once a year, over the course of two decades, which leads to festering feelings of longing and resentment. Eventually their individual realities turn tragic.
This is what is commonly referred to as "the closet" folks. Believe me, I should know. My own experience of being in the closet lead me to intense internal strife, including a suicide attempt during my teen years. This is the very closet people like to make cute little jokes about... and hey, some of them are funny. But being in the closet is no laughing matter. It is an extremely burdensome and soul-depleting experience.
This is the reality for a vast majority of gay people. Most gays are not the extravagent, femine neatniks with the acerbic wit that you see on TV. And they are not the psychotic serial killers that you see in the movies. And they certainly don't all cruise bath houses or attend circuit parties donned in leather ass pants. Those are simply the strereotypes that society would like to have you believe.
Most gays are just like you, although you probably wouldn't know it, because we don't stand out in any particualr way. We are your children, your siblings, your parents and grandparents. We are mostly decent, "regular" people that are not out to "recruit" anyone and are repulsed by the thought of molesting children. And above all, the "homosexual home office" doesn't supply us with an agenda for the destruction of society's "family values".
We are your family.
The difference is that, just like in Brokeback Mountain, most gays live in the shadows, in perpetual fear of the very real threat of violence, and the abandonment of both family and friends. They live in constant anxiety of the destructive realities that coming out, or being discovered, could inflict on their lives... so they choose to remain suppressed
If you are straight, imagine what this would be like. Imagine what it would be like to be forced to suppress your very nature and soul in order to gain acceptance in your community. Imagine being perpetually guarded and overtly conscious in your everyday life of everything you say and do, so that no one will ever discover the truth. Imagine having to subject yourself to a relationship with a person you do not love, and have absolutely no physical attraction to, in order to create a false image and conform with society's expectations. Imagine the destruction this sham would cause to everyone involved.
You see, this is the real disconnect in American society. Many heterosexuals just don't get it, so to sit in judgement and deny basic civil rights to gays is actually very easy for them. They can't relate to the struggles gays go through because they don't share or understand those realities... and this includes liberals. It is the same reason behind the disconnect between the races. If you want to understand someone else, try walking in their shoes for awhile.
So Bill, this is what Brokeback Mountain is really all about, you might want to see it again if you didn't catch it the first time... I'll be happy to buy your ticket.