Well, in my ongoing request to cheer up and process this presidential election cycle as something more than cynical pander, I have been searching for political stories, videos, and articles that make me laugh. I haven't gotten to the stories, videos, and articles that inspire me yet, simply because I'm still a little too bitter to deal.
Goddamn Sarah Palin and her 24/7 news coverage. Anyway.
I am SO glad that there is alternative media! I'm SO glad for its very existence! You people have no idea. Oh, wait.
I wrote a diary yesterday all about Mark Morford, a columnist with the San Francisco Chronicle, whom I simply adore and would probably stalk if given ample opportunity. (Mostly just kidding there.) The following article is dated 7.23.08 and entitled John McCain, please log on, an open letter written directly to the McCain campaign about John McCain not knowing how to use a computer:
(Because) you know what's depressing and just a bit beyond sad? A serious presidential candidate — that is to say, yours — who thinks it's harmless that he's actually one of those guys, who admits he's a complete Luddite when it comes to computers and, by extension, most every aspect of modern multimedia and technology, except perhaps the exact specs of the nuke required to annihilate Iran and/or take out a big pile of "gooks."
See, word has gotten out. Your boy John McCain says has no clue how to work a computer. He's an admitted tech illiterate, couldn't Google his way out of a DailyKos to save his Yahoo.
But here's the disturbing part: This confession of ignorance apparently bothers him and his campaign not at all, as they apparently believe any sort of tech know-how isn't really required to run our deeply busted-up ship of state, that you need no real firsthand experience with the most definitive technology of the past 100 years to make decisions that affect the entire planet. Go figure.
So then, the valid question: Is it a big deal? Should you care? Because McCain's I'm-just-a-clueless-old-guy comment has caused a bit a stir, with anyone with a functioning DSL line calling it a bit of an embarrassment, a bit like running for captain of the swim team while admitting all you know how to do is splash around in the bathtub. Gosh, Senator, don't you think you need just a passing understanding of the culture in which you live to qualify you to oversee the damnable place? Doesn't it help?
Maybe not. Maybe McCain's apologists are right, the POTUS really doesn't need to have a working knowledge of what hundreds of millions of people use every day to live, work, communicate, shop and blog and breed and porn and tube and book. Hell, just look at President Bush — still giggles every time Laura plugs in the air popcorn popper, has an Irish drinking song as a ringtone, enjoys a working grasp of the English language that borders on infantile. Really, who says a president has to be even modestly versed in the culture of his or her day? Or even passably competent?
I don't have cable anymore, so I have to get my Jon Stewart fixes via YouTube. If I had the opportunity, I'd watch The Daily Show, ya know, daily. Back in 2004, he was on Crossfire and he did an excellent job of skewering Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala, which makes it a very satisfying viewing experience. I swear to God, I am not making this up: Jon Stewart literally got Tucker Carlson fired from the series, which was cancelled altogether shortly thereafter. (Follow the above Wikipedia link and read the section about Mr. Kickass Stewart.)
Ever wanted to scream at the SCLM? Get all up in their grillz and tell 'em wut's wut? Watch Jon Stewart do it:
I really love the show Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO. I don't always agree with Bill, but his humor is pretty choice. He's a truth talker and a shit kicker which, if nothing else, I definitely respect. The following video includes awesome and hilarious analysis of how wrong the conservatives were about Iraq:
When I get bored or depressed, I pick up my copy of Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken. Al is the Democratic candidate for theUS Senate seat in Minnesota. He's up against Republican Norm Coleman, who is kind of a douchebag. Fellow Kossacks, I can back up that statement with some facts if you want, but just Google him. Norm Coleman is a douchebag.
But I digress. I've picked a random excerpt from Franken's book, because it's all pretty damn funny. I just opened up to Chapter 5, pages 24-27, entitled "Loving America the Al Franken Way":
(Conservatives) love America the way a four-year-old loves her mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a four-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad, and helping your loved one grow. Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.
(snip)
I've made a list that takes a good, hard, if quick, look at our great nation's history, pointing out the good and owning up to the bad. It's not meant to be a complete list. For example, I've left out the Gadsden Purchase of 1849, which was something of a mixed blessing. The list is more a bittersweet love song to the world's only remaining superpower, that majestic, though slightly flawed, country that I call home. [Note: I numbered this list because it was easier to get it line-by-line that way.]
- Salem witch trials - bad
- Revolutionary War - good
- Slavery - bad
- Ending slavery - good, but hard
- Civil War reenactments - weird
- Massacring Native Americans and breaking our treaties with them - bad
- Indian casinos - ?
- Child labor during the Industrial Revolution - bad
- Child labor mowing lawns and baby-sitting - character-building
- Labor movement creating the weekend - good
- Land grant universities - hot
- Rural electrification - hotter
- Social Security - hottest!
- Dictating pop culture for the world - mixed
- Selling Saddam Hussein chemical weapons in the eighties - in retrospect, bad
- Louisiana Purchase - bargain
- Grand Canyon - wonderful, though we really can't take much credit for it - no wait;
- National park system - really good
[I can't plagiarize the whole thing here. Sheesh.]
- Winning Cold War - credit all around, to postwar Republican and Democratic presidents alike
- Gross human rights violations in name of winning Cold War - credit all around, except to Jimmy Carter
- Women getting the vote - good ... for women! Just kidding. It's good for everybody!!!
- African-Americans getting the vote - good ... for African-Americans! Kidding again. Good for Democrats!!!
- Making mistakes - bad, but inevitable
- Correcting mistakes - good, but not inevitable
- Calling those who point out mistakes "unpatriotic" - itself unpatriotic
- Owning up to our mistakes - brave
- America - home of the brave
Ah, I feel better now. :) Hope y'all enjoyed this!