I don't know what the deal is with illegal immigrants wanting to drive. I mean, aren't they in good enough shape already from swimming across the Rio Grande, hiking through the desert, getting all that fresh outdoor air working in the fields and camping out in the woods next to the highway?
Don't get me wrong, I like peasants. I think peasants should continue to pick my food, clean up my half-eaten lunch at the office, and clean the toilet when I'm done. But they have to walk to work. That's where I draw the line. No free rides, those lucky duckies.
Why just yesterday I had to turn down a dozen white suburban kids begging to clean my toilets and rake my leaves. Damn immigrants, it's all their fault we get to eat on the cheap.