For eight long years, we have been in a world of shit.
2000—Florida. Shit, oh dear. I b’lieve my lawyers have done whupped your lawyers’ asses, Al. And I further believe my daddy’s Supreme Court justices goin’ give the ‘lection to me. That sure is tough shit for you.
2001—Sept. 11. I don’t mind telling you I was scared shitless at first. I about shit bricks when they told me we were under attack. Bu then I thought, this is gonna be all the excuse I need to clobber the shit outta that Saddam Hussein!
2002—U.N. Would I shit you? Those Iraqis are fixin to blow the bejeebers out of all y’all and us, too, and anyone who don’t think so will wind up holding the shit end of the stick. I shit you not.
2003—U. S.S. Abraham Lincoln. We got our shit together, me and my defense department. When the shit hits the fan, we are who you want on the job, all right. I expect I can just about declare Mission freaking accomplished. I mean to say, do we know our shit or what?
2004-- Re-election. That is just bullshit, John, to think I had anything to do with those folks calling you a chickenshit. I am just not the kind of guy who would pull that kind of shit. And no, if you have to know, I was not shitfaced when I choked on that pretzel.
2005—Katrina. The reason I’m wearing this shit-eating grin? Cause I’m going to tell you what a job me and Brownie and the boys are doing caring for the welfare of New Orleans, when the fact is, we could give a shit.
2006—Midterm elections. Sorry about that, but shit rolls down hill, Rummy. Stop on by and shoot the shit sometime when you’re in town. Hey, how come some shit-for-brains advisor didn’t warn me the Dems were gonna pick up a shitload of seats--huh, Turd Blossom?
2007—Congressional inquiries. Don’t be talkin’ shit to me about spying or torture or any of that shit. And when Al says he don’t know shit about all those attorneys getting shitcanned, he’s giving you the straight shit.
2008—Legacy time. You believe this shit? People saying I’m the shittiest president ever to serve! When in fact I just got caught in a perfect shitstorm of circumstances. True, the economy’s in deep shit, and America’s good name ain’t worth shit anymore, and the rule of law don’t mean shit, and the future don’t look like shit to most folks because if you ain’t a zillionaire you are shit out of luck, and true, I’ve filled the government with appointees who don’t know shit and can’t do shit, but none of that means shit to me.