Oh hai, I'm Cookie from PNN (Pootie News Network) reporting on the pre-Iaugrowl festivities around the nation.
History will record the fact pooties were a major force in Barack Obama's victory.
Democratic pooties are having their own Inaugrowl Ball, and I'm here to give you the inside info. Pooties are known as party animals:
In the spirit of bipartisanship, I have decided to reach across the sandbox and include dogs (inexplicably called "woozles" by some humanz) in this report. But I have serious doubts about how well the dogs will behave. They can be so uncouth at times.
See what I mean? Now stop it, you silly pooch, this iz serious report on Inaugrowl Balls.
NOOOOOO.......that's NOT the kind of ball we're reporting on. Sheesh. And humanz wonder why we pooties are so particular about who we're taking to the Pootie Ball:
As I compiled this report, it became increasingly obvious that dogs are not gifted with much fashion sense:
Pooties have far better taste:
Pootie cosmetic surgeons are extremely busy these days:
Some pooties have gotten a headstart on the festivities:
Since the DC bars will be open 24/7, we do expect some pooties might celebrate a tad too much:
And the beer drinkers who will be visiting DC are already wondering:
Even pooties can't find a hotel room:
But the all-important question on every pootie's mind is, WHAT DO I WEAR TO THE BALL?
NOT!
Oh mai, this dog looks FABULOUS:
My own gown will, of course, be designed by Oscar de la Purina, so keep your eyes open for me. I'll be the cutest pootie at the ball! And that will do it for my report tonight. Are there any questions?