Newsmax is passing out the tinfoil hats and ramping up the paranoia of its readers. An article penned by David A. Patten, titled "Obama’s Dirty Dozen: What the President’s Agenda Means for America" takes an interesting, albeit loony, look at how the agenda will impact the GOP for generations to come.
Come across the fold into the slippery, dark mind of the GOP.
Mr. Patten delves into the possibilities with the zeal of a teenager behind the wheel of his first car. A scale has been devised to determine the probability of the event occurring to the amount of pain it would inflict upon the GOP. Read the full article here http://www.newsmax.com/...
Ratings
Key [1 to 10 scale]:
Probability Likelihood that the measure soon will be implemented.
U.S. Impact Potential impact on the country, once the measure is enacted
GOP Impact Future political impact on the GOP and its supporters.
GOP Misery Index An average of the three measures.
1. Allow Anyone to Vote
[Probability 5.2 / U.S. Impact 6.4 / GOP Impact 7.8 / GOP Misery Index = 6.46]
This is probably going to signal the rapture. After all, imagine a world where voters aren’t intimidated and cast their vote freely. Woo hoo.
2. Ban Offshore Drilling
[Probability 7.0 / U.S. Impact 7.5 / GOP Impact 3.1/ GOP Misery Index = 5.86 ]
This is just plain awful. Drill, baby drill. Imagine a world without pollution for your children. That is just not the right thing to do. Let the children carry around oxygen tanks and gas masks. They do not need to be such whiners. I had to carry lard sandwiches in a rusty pail walking in 28 feet of snow all up hill, both ways, with no shoes. These kids are way too soft.
3. Close Guantanamo
[Probability 9.8 / U.S. Impact 7.5 / GOP Impact 2.0 / GOP Misery Index = 6.43
Too late wingers... already done. So I guess the probability would be 100%
4. Curtail Gun Owners’ Rights
[Probability 8.0 / U.S. Impact 8.5 / GOP Impact 3.2 / GOP Misery Index = 6.56
God forbid a gun carrying sunovabitch can’t bring his gun into the neighborhood church or park. You just never know when you’ll come across somethin’ that don’t deserve to live. Like a demoncrat or a road sign that is bullet hole free.
5. Enact Amnesty for Illegal Immigrants
[Probability 8.2 / U.S. Impact 7.8 / GOP Impact 8.8 / GOP Misery Index = 8.26]
Yeah. Let’s do this. It really worked out well when Raygun did it in the 80’s. It really stopped the illegal immigration.
6. End Faith-Based Initiatives
[Probability 7.7/ U.S. Impact 7.1 / GOP Impact 6.5 / GOP Misery Index = 7.10]
It is really, really bad when the wingers are cut off from their welfare sources. They may even have to quit discriminating in hiring practices. Ohhhhh the pain, the pain.
7. Give Driver’s Licenses to Illegal Immigrants
[Probability 8.5 / U.S. Impact 6.6 / GOP Impact 7.4 / GOP Misery Index = 7.43
It is so much better to have them driving around and moving about the country without any identification or a way to "track" possible poor behavior.
8. Hike Taxes
[Probability 6.6 / U.S. Impact 7.2 / GOP Impact 6.3 / GOP Misery Index = 6.70]
This one is hard for the freepers because they are used to keeping their coin buried in the backyard. They got so many tax breaks during the bushie criminal error they got spoiled. Give me your wallet, winger.
9. Implement ‘Card Check’ in the Workplace
[Probability 6.0 / U.S. Impact 8.1 / GOP Impact 7.2 / GOP Misery Index = 7.10]
OMG. If this happens EVERY industry will have to close. Those damn unions. The people need to work for the wage that the wingers give them. If it is none, well too bad. Just be damn glad that you have the honor of working for a winger. Make something of yourself.
10. Impose Greenhouse Restrictions
[Probability 8.5 / U.S. Impact 7.8 / GOP Impact 2.3 / GOP Misery Index = 6.20]
I had no idea that the Obama Administration wanted to build a greenhouse. Lots of plants and flowers to give off oxygen. How pretty. I feel pretty. I smell pretty.
11. Silence Talk Radio
[Probability 5.6 / U.S. Impact 7.8 / GOP Impact 8.5 / GOP Misery Index = 7.30]
Oh, please can we do this? If the Obama administration is successful with this, can they replace it with only songs from Queen?
12. Promote Islamic Education
[Probability 5.5 / U.S. Impact 6.1 / GOP Impact 2.7 / GOP Misery Index = 4.76]
Hell yeah baby. Like Catholic School wasn’t bad enough. Every GOP’er needs to go to Islamic school.