I'm sick to my stomach everyone. I haven't been able to post here for a week, I didn't want to complain and bring people down from the celebration. I can't really even process this yet.
I just read the breaking news in the WaPo tonight about how overwhelmed the law enforcement was and how unprepared they were for us, and I can barely breathe.
It was as bad as I knew it was, but to see it in print, acknowledged, makes me feel faint. We could have died. I was afraid that they didn't have it under control as I watched it, but then to see that they truly didn't, I almost can't breathe.
Many of you know about my excitement over taking my little boy to the Inauguration, and how he worked so hard to earn us tickets.
I wrote about it last Sunday, A little boy earns ticket to the Inauguration - and a mom is forever grateful and we took you all with us in our pocket to the big day. I did, you were all there in a plastic baggie with our tickets, because it was the only way to keep everything safe and comply with the security rules.
We rode 10 hours on a bus to spend just a few precious hours in D.C. on this historic day.
But, and I can still barely talk about it, the day was the most horrible day I've spent in my life. I apologize for not posting earlier, or for this junk diary. No, we didn't get in. And I'm not whining about missing the big moment. I am in shock because we could have died there. I'm feeling so guilty about bringing my son into that I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. I never would have considered it without the tickets, that is the reason we went.
From what I understand, basically the crowd broke down the fencing for the secure sections and just flooded the areas close to President Obama. There's still work to be done in piecing it together, and the Huffington Post has done a pretty good job so far on the logistical failures.
But don't blame the crowd, by the looks of the WaPo article, in no way was anyone in authority capapble of handling even the EXPECTED crowd that was given tickets. In my section, according to the WAPo, the Silver -
At the silver section, behind the Reflecting Pool, there was only one gate for 100,000 ticket holders -- three fewer openings than in 2005 -- because of security issues
Dozens of people who contacted The Post said they were appalled at the lack of police or other officials to provide information and maintain order on the serpentine lines.
"There was literally no one in charge," said Sam Brannen, a District resident with a silver ticket who never reached the security gate.
"The largest concentration of police I saw were congregated in the tunnel between Judiciary Square and Federal Center S.W. They were sitting inside their vehicles, literally drinking coffee and eating doughnuts," he said in an e-mail
Folks, the cops were literally afraid to help us. They were hiding in their vehicles. I saw them. Do you know what it does to a person in a life-threatening situation when they see the police running from it? I can't get over it. I can't sleep at night. I fall asleep and I'm back in that crowd, worried that my little boy will be trampled, trying to figure out a way to protect him if people started to push.
I've been writing to the PIC all week, and I wrote this to the committee yesterday, before the WaPo published anything on this. I'm just going to paste my latest letter to the committee here, but please check out the WaPo's first of what is I am sure to be - dozens of major articles about what really happened at the Inauguration.
Inaugural Missteps And Miscalculations
Here is my latest letter to the PIC:
Dear PIC,
I have already told you about our horrible experience of being turned away from our seats in the Silver section, but I want to emphasize to you that my complaint isn't necessarily because we were forced to completely miss the ceremony - we weren't even able to see a jumbotron - but here, three days later, I am in shock over how close we came to dying on January 20.
This isn't a matter of the tickets or the seats, I want to know why it is okay with you that our lives were put in danger because we were invited to the Inauguration? Please, tell me that we are worth more than this initial attempt to excuse what happened with puffy coats or denying there were problems.
There were problems, serious ones, and I am still feeling the effects of them. I don't want to feel like this, and I wish you'd do something to make this feeling go away. This was a life-changing event for me, I don't know yet how I have changed from this event, but I know I have. I know that I never, ever would have taken a child to this event if we didn't have tickets. Ever. I knew that it would be too difficult of a day for a child.
This was a really serious problem, and I'm reading about it now. I want to know what happened to us. Why did we have to go through this? For some unknown reason, the people in our silver section were not allowed in. Why not?
The "security" wouldn't let anyone through the gate. Satellite photos show the section was virtually empty. Finally, during the introductions of the Obama girls, the people just crashed the gate and everyone got in, without any security screening or anything. Very dangerous, especially to President Obama - how can you be sure those people didn't have weapons?
My son and I went the entire day and never got screened anywhere. People had all kinds of unapproved items and they got through - they didn't have tickets - but here we were following the rules and we didn't get anywhere near our section.
How is this safe for our President and for us if we ever are lucky enough to have this chance again?
But sending us out to the Mall was even more dangerous, which is what happened when we tried to get in line at around 8:30 a.m. We were told our section was filled and that we would spend the ceremony in line and that it was better to head to the Mall and see it on the jumbotron. I wasn't upset to do that. We were just happy to be there. But the MALL WAS CLOSED!
The conditions along Independence Avenue were unbelievably and dangerously crowded, with no guidance from the police or any law enforcement. I saw the police on buses parked along the street, like they were avoiding having to deal with us. When you see law enforcement afraid to be in the situation, it adds a level of fear that I've never experienced.
I've never seen law enforcement hide from a situation before, or seem so intimidated and incapable of handling the situation. I don't think I've ever been as afraid in my life. It was like being caught up in a riot that was about to start, but never actually did, thank goodness. But the fear was just as real.
I kept trying to get my son out of there, but it seemed like going over a block or two (along with thousands of others with the same idea) just kept leading us back to Independence Avenue. There was only one way in and one way out.
I feel like we could have been killed, and that isn't at all what I thought I'd be feeling for the first days of this new administration.
Did you ever just miss having an accident with your car and you know you are alive, but it bothers you for a few days because you realize just how close you came to death? I'm feeling that way, and can't seem to get over it. It was really bad. I am not exaggerating. It was worse for me because I had to guide my little boy through it and I was so afraid for him. How could I prevent him from being trampled to death if the crowd surged? How can a mother protect a child in that situation? How???
I think I need a good cry. I really need to cry about this. When we got home Tuesday night, after 10 hours riding on a bus to spend a few hours in DC, my son told me he was afraid of being trampled to death like the security guard at Walmart during Christmas. I am so sad to know my son was worried about being trampled to death instead of thinking about his hero, President Obama.
I want to you know us, and to see us as human beings who really sacrificed to be a part of this day. We are a mom and a little boy who didn't deserve this. This wasn't okay to do to us. We deserve to know why this happened to us.
I want to know why this is okay with the PIC and the DC police and everyone else involved. We are people just like you, and this was not okay to do to us. It was not a simple mistake, and I can see that. It was a complete breakdown of everything you were supposed to do for us and the Inauguration.
I am sure that if President Obama knew our stories, he'd be heartsick. I know this isn't what he wanted. Please tell me why this was okay to do to us. I need to know why.
I want you to remember us as you investigate this tragedy. Please remember me and my little boy, and think of us and how you would feel if we were dead today. It could have easily happened if not for the goodwill of the people around us. I thank God for those people, because if just one started pushing, we'd be dead today. We would be dead.